I posted this at TFL after my little sister gifted me with one of Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a Redneck” books.
Several years later, I received one of those ‘Joke-a-Day’ spam e-mails. Out of curiosity, I opened it up, and there was this post, with nary a mention of little old me. I banged off an e-mail suggesting that it was bad policy to send plagiarized material to the author of that material. Never got a response back.
Folks, I write to make people smile. That being the case I certainly don’t mind if you forward my scribbles to your friends and family (or even your enemies, if that kind of thing floats your boat) – heck, I encourage it – but kindly mention LawDog from The Firing Line or LawDog from The High Road when you do. Or even this blog, I guess.
And please, if you catch someone claiming my stuff as his, kick him in the butt for me.
You just might be a rural Peace Officer …
If your hat, belt and boots cost more than your sidearm.If you know what a ‘court gun’ is.
If you have a ‘court gun’.
If directions to a location involve livestock, property descriptions, or the words: “When you get off the pavement.”
If the winner of the last three bar room brawls was last years Homecoming Queen.
If dressing up for court involves pressed Wranglers and a Brushpopper shirt.
If anyone on the Department is named ‘Bubba’.
If you don’t know Bubba’s real name.
If Bubba is his real name.
If you’ve ever gotten a confession from a critter by threatening him with either his Mama or God.
If your interview for the job involved the question: “Can you take a whuppin’?”
If you have more weapons and ammunition in your cruiser than most small nations have in their armies.
If you’ve ever had an ‘Officer Involved Shooting’ where the victim was a feral hog or other four-pawed critter with an appetite.
If the calibre of your sidearm is regarded as an artillery round in Europe.
You’ve ever had to mediate a dispute concerning the paternity of a litter of puppies.
If you have the impression that the Feds regard your department as being marginally more civilized than the Viking Hordes.
If you think all back-up is 30 miles away and asleep in bed.
If you’ve ever gone to an emergency wearing only your hat, pajamas, gun and boots.
If spurs are a department-issued item.
Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.