Mexican Civil War

With all the protests in the news, I think it’s time to take a look at our southern neighbor and assess some options.

First of all, the Mexican socio-poli-economic system has failed. Not “ill”, not “ailing”, FAILED.

The only reason that Mexico is still a country, is that the Mexican government has been using the United States as a safety valve.

You’ve all seen the reports about how illegal immigrants in this nation are in the tens of millions, if not hundred million.

It is a preferable state of affairs for the Mexican Government for those tens or hundreds of millions of Mexicans to be employed in the United States, rather than UN-employed in Mexico.

Tens of millions (or hundreds of millions) of your citizens sitting in your country starving tends to wind up with the Great Unwashed Masses grabbing torches, pitchforks, ropes and the occasional guillotine before storming the castles.

Just ask the French.

This isn’t the worst part of the situation.

The Mexican Government has discovered that each of those tens (or hundreds) of millions of illegal folks in the U.S. is sending money home. Money that the Mexican Government doesn’t have to guarantee, back with assets, or print.

Think about it: say the U.S. is hosting 20 million illegal immigrants. Now, postulate that each one of those illegal immigrants is sending one U.S. dollar to the folks back home every Friday.

20 million dollars a week. 52 weeks in a year … how many U.S. dollars a year is that going into the Mexican economy? Something around a billion dollars? And that’s only $1 a week from 20 million.

Like any other welfare junkie, the Mexican Government can’t give up this free cash. It can’t afford to.


We can close the border. It’ll take some cold-blooded pragmatism and some legis-critters with spines, but it can be done.

Then what happens? Yeah, some of you are already figuring it out.

Mexico loses that billion dollars American– or more. And it suddenly has tens or hundreds of millions of people who can’t feed their families.

That is a recipe for civil war. Revolution at the least.

At the best of times, having our southern neighbor involved in a full-scale coup (with attendant atrocities) is a bitch-kitty.

Anyone would have to agree that these aren’t the best of times, what with the Global War on Terrorism, occupation of Iraq and Afghanistan, and all that.


There are a couple of options.

The first is to put off the oncoming collapse of the Mexican government as long as possible. We keep safety-valving their workers, and we keep propping up their monetary system until it is Someone Elses Problem.

Perusing the border solutions proposed by Congress, this seems to be the route favored by the current U.S. government.

It is the cowards way out. It makes the false assertion that We Are Doing Something without actually doing anything — except guaranteeing our children or grandchildren will have to deal with a WORSE mess.

The second option is pragmatic. It fixes the problem almost immediately, and provides the best solution for folks on both sides of the border.

Annex Mexico.

Dissolve the central government. Make each Mexican state a territory of the United States. As each Mexican state cleans up it’s problems, allow them to petition for Statehood.

Their workers get to freely move throughout the U.S., seeking jobs where they may; we get to have a say in the government finances down there; and they get to have a taste of being forced to teach bilingual classes in High School.


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20 thoughts on “Mexican Civil War”

  1. You read my mind! Then we can liberate Canada from those liberals in Ottawa and Quebec.

  2. Nice and probably the best idea. But if we made Mexico US soil then more schooling social studies would focus on that. I think we should teach more American history than that of another culture.

    But all that extra land and getting rid of the corruption would be nice.

  3. I had the same idea myself.

    Except I wanted to go all the way to Panama. I’d really like to get that canal back.

  4. Thas a nice dream dog, whatchu bin smokin?

    Elliot, you won’t need the canal in 50 years, the ice is melting so fast that China to Europe via the NW passage will soon be a reality.

    At least sooner than Mexico gets annexed. heh,heh

  5. I wouldn’t advocate annexing Mexico. That would evidence of the Heartless American Imperialism(r) destroying yet another Beautiful Culture(tm).

    It would be more useful for the Mexican federal districts to seceed and apply for territory status as a result of UN monitored elections in each district. Here’s my wild plan:

    1) Have Congress pass a law that specifies the disposition of citizens of non-US lands upon their application to join the US as a territory. It should specify how Mexican citizenship can be converted into US citizenship, permanent residency, and lawful “visitor” status, depending on their length of residency in the district having the election.
    [Have standards for establishing residency independent of the Mexican government. I suggest having them register at a church. The priests can send a package each month to the US embassy with a list of names, addresses and signatures (witnessed if they’re illiterate) of those who want to be registered as residents of their parish.]
    2) Have a UN resolution proposed that for such a vote to be recognized, it must be monitored by UN election monitors. The US grumpily adstains from the vote, privately giggles.
    3) Run a public service announcement campaign in the US, in Spanish, telling all the illegal aliens that if they go back over the border and register as residents, then vote in the secession referendum, and it passes, they get to be US citizens/residents depending on how fast they get there before the vote.
    4) As a new territory, they are on the fast-track to state-hood, dependent on certain things being sorted out, such as a state constitution, and a starter set of state laws. The US Army would assmed control of the border security of the new territory until a state militia and national guard units stand up.
    5) The USA celebrates the new 31 states (the Distrito Federal gets rolled in with whatever Mexican district that abuts it last seceeds) with new state quarters and a massive sale on US flags with 81 stars. Puerto Pico gets a firm nudge to become number 82.

  6. Interestin’. I was just debatin’ this on another blog.

    See, I got the idea we treat ’em like ya’ might treat a rat that’s snuck into your house to gnaw on your food. Take away the food–or at least put it into somethin’ the rats can’t get into.

    So. No automatic citizenship for babies of non-citizens. Wasn’t what the law was for anyway.

    No local/state/federal benefits unless you can prove you’re a citizen. Zero, zip, nada. Your employer (since they’re cryin’ they need the cheap labor) can pay for what you need. ‘Course, if a doctor/dentist wants to barter with ya’ for services, okay, but no Medicare paybacks.

    If ya’ wanna’ send your illegal kids to school, you can pay “tuition” like U.S. kids do when they wanna’ attend a school outside the district where they live. No benefits for your elderly relatives livin’ with ya’. And certainly no in-state college tuition discounts.

    No more bilingual anything, ‘specially votin’ ballots. If ya’ can’t read the ballot or understand the candidate’s speech, ya’ shouldn’t be votin’ anyway. No more bilingual directions or instructions or “Press 2 for Spanish.”

    Stop panderin’ and they’ll either leave or learn.

    We whipped ’em once. We can do it again.

  7. The most recent amount I heard that was getting sent back to Mexican families from their relatives working in the US was 8-9 BILLION dollars/year. I think it’s time to stop the bleeding southward. However, I don’t want to annex Mexico. I think we have enough of their criminals here without having to add more.

    Kiki B.

  8. Very interesting, although I firmly believe you left out a third and viable option.

    Encourage a revolution in Mexico.

    All of the billions of US dollars per year is not going to any of the towns where these people are from. I can attest from personal experience. I have travelled extensively in Mexico to the small rural towns, as well as the largest cities and I can say that the people are not getting any of it, nor is the money going into the infrastructure of the country. No jobs are being created. The middle class are being expected to live on $1000 US ($10,000 Pesos) per month, if that.

    Where the HECK is all of that money going?????

    Let’s see….Carlos Slim Helu…#3 on the World’s richest people, as well as at least 4 other people on Forbe’s List of Billionaires in the World for 2005.

    If we don’t change the problem at its root, we will forever have these problems.

    The people here that are organizing these protests are Communists. Start doing some research and you can find out that information. That’s one of the reasons they’re planning a HUGE march on May 1st – World Communist Day (May Day).


  9. Lawdog – I’m a relatively new reader and enjoy your blog very much.

    I like your idea for annexing Mexico, but worry that the milquetoast P.C. crowd won’t force any of our American ways on them the way a lot of their immigrants (legal and illegal) insist on forcing upon us. Still, the idea has merit.



  10. Annexing Mexico is a bad idea. Too many socialist voters. The Democrats would be in power forever. Good thing their anti-militarism blinds them to the possibility.

    Making it a temporary American protectorate so we can set up a decent government and then leave, in the way we once did with the Phillipines, might be a good idea – except we’re already doing something like that in Iraq and Afghanistan, and we’ve got to finish at least one of those jobs before the military can take on another one.

  11. LawDog,

    Re; Annexing Mexico
    I like your idea, and I have run it through my walnut-sized brain a few times myself. It’s vindictive and deliciously patronizing; “Mexico, you’re to stupid to run your affairs so we’ll sort you out ourselves”…I love it.

    The problem, however, is all of the friggin’ baggage headaches. Imagine the size of that welfare state?! I vote no on annexation.

    Rather, I propose we swallow some pride and tell Mr. Fox that for every illegal north of the border we will accept nothing less than 10,000 barrels of crude oil, per month. Plus, his refineries will now dedicate 50% of their capacity to US markets.

    Hell, if we’re going to serve the time (imperialism) we may as well commit the crime!

    In addition, we take our pick of Mexican real estate to make up for the loss of Vieques, PR, bombing range. Finally, FREE TEQUILA!

  12. I’m not going to pretend to have much experience with Mexico beyond chatting with a Mexicana sometimes girlfriend and visiting her in Merida. But I think that the reaction of the US annexing Mexico would be…

    …well, somewhat the reception the French got when they tried to stick Emperor Max on the throne in Mexico City.

    There needs to be two things going on. One, better immigration enforcement. Physically closing the US/Mexico border may be close to impossible. I’ll defer to our host LawDog as to what it would take. But strict, ruthless inspections of agribusiness and such industries might convince those seeking cheap labour it’s more trouble than it is worth. Cutting off welfare and similar benefits certain makes sense since they aren’t landed immigrants or citizens.

    Second, a sane immigration policy concerning Mexicans. I couldn’t bring my Mexican girlfriend up here for a visit because all flights went through a US hub, and the rules change about transiting visas changed post 9/11. She was treated as if she were about to hop off the plane and into the fields at a moment’s notice. I say the focus shouldn’t be on visas and work stays. The issue of immigration security is identifying who’s coming through. Make the process reward those willing to give identifying info at La Migra, even if they may lack Mexican documentation. Take down their vitals–hell, fingerprints and retina scans if you want–tell them it’s up to them to find a job, and if they commit a crime their vitals are on file to get their butts deported and banned forever.

    However, I have little sympathy with those who claim they should be exempt from following proper border procedures. I do a lot of scooter riding in Vermont and upstate NY. From the looks of the Homeland Security folks at the border points, I have a pretty good idea what’d happen if I decided to skip the formalities of reporting in. And I’m as white as they come.

  13. Harrison: “So. No automatic citizenship for babies of non-citizens. Wasn’t what the law was for anyway.”

    The rest of your post is pretty reasonable, but I don’t think you thought this part through. Those babies aren’t citizens of their parents’ home countries, so what would you do with them? Ship them to Antarctica?

  14. Those babies aren’t citizens of their parents’ home countries, so what would you do with them?

    There are two laws governing citizenship: jus soli and jus sanguini.

    I was born in a foreign country. Under jus soli I am/was/could be a citizen of that nation.

    Since my parents were both American citizens, under jus sanguini I have American citizenship.

    If the child in question has two Mexican nationals as parents, then under jus sanguini the child would automatically be a citizen of Mexico, no matter where he is born.

  15. This 30 March 06 post of yours is brilliant. The idea of the US annexing Mexico would surely be as repugnant to them as it is to us, but the solution you suggest actually sounds quite plausible, to me.

    About the money going to Mexico – in the late 90s I was working in item processing for one of the nation’s largest banks, and I would run parity checks on bundles of checks in deposits, making sure the digitized data matched the amounts and types of transactions on the documents. I can’t tell you how many hundreds of deposits I checked from Mexican institutions– deposits totaling millions and containing between 100 & 300 checks each, all to Mexican payees with Mexican addresses from the US Treasury. I found that odd. Hell, if we’re sending it all over there, anyway, and we serve merely to prop them up, then why not simply annex them and give them no choice but to conform.

    This would also give an opportunity for them to dilute the most defective aspects of their culture, rather than stalwartly holding on and trying to turn the US into Mexico.

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