That was a bit startling.


I was drifting about Google, wondering who was looking at my blog when I came across the above link.

I had no idea that I was coming across as a stereotypical, misogynistic, racist, bigoted, Good Old Boy. Not to mention: “ignorant”, “hateful”, “disgusting” and “trivialized violence”.

Folks, I tell my stories to amuse people. The fact that apparently more than one person finds me to be, well, all of the above, is a bit startling.

I may need to rethink this blogging idea.



When I started this blog, I fully expected to catch the occasional bit of hell for my comments and opinions. I await with bated breath for the moment when my stance on illegal immigration hits a couple of Aztlan websites.

One thing I never expected, though, was to catch hell because of my stories. Blindsided me a bit, there.

I have been firmly, albeit gently, slapped into place by my little* sister-in-law, who is enceinte again, and thus not any any mood for horse-puckey.

LD: “Someone thought one of my stories was disgusting.”

SIL: “Oh.”

LD: “Not to mention ignorant, hateful, and misogynistic.”

SIL: “Oh. Do we know this person?”

LD: “I don’t think so. I’m kind of wondering if maybe I ought to not post stories…”

SIL: “You moron.”

LD: “Huh?”

SIL: “We give a **** about the opinion of this unknown person … why, exactly?”

LD: “Umm…good point.”

SIL: “Yeah. Thought so. Now on to important stuff: where the hell can you find jalapeno relish in this burg and who do I have to kill to get a jar?”

So. The stories, opinions and comments shall continue, unabated.

After I locate a jar of jalapeno relish and some blueberry muffins.


*I call her ‘little’ because she is five feet tall, not because of latent misogynistic Good-Old-Boy tendencies.

The infamous t-shirt
Protestors defend carrying the Mexican flag.

41 thoughts on “That was a bit startling.”

  1. Law Dog, you’ve been in law enforcement long enough to know that it is impossible to do your job in a way that ensures everyone will be happy with you at the end of the day. You do your job anyway, the best you can.

    It’s the same with blogging — you put yourself out there, as honestly (and with as much humor) as you can, and let the chips fall where they may. Some people will love you. Some people will hate you. Just like life.

    So don’t let the knee-jerk defensive feministas get you down. We’d miss you too much. 🙂

  2. Don’t rethink the “blogger thing” because a bunch of PC nincompoops gat their knockers all in a knot about something that happened long ago. It took me about ten minutes to get calmed down and clean the coffee off my monitor. My favorite (crazy) uncle was a Seattle Policeman in the fifties and sixties and he had similar stories that used to make me fall off my chair.

    Gerry N.

  3. Don’t rethink anything. Screw them for the idiots they are.

    “It mocked blacks(I do believe although it was not stated that Opal was a black woman.)”

    Assuming Opal was black, mocking someone for being mockable has nothing to do with color. Some people were born to be ridiculed.

  4. You have a legion of fans at TFL and THR. A handfull of feminists have their panties in a wad over one of your stories. I wouldn’t give this a second thought, except maybe to pity the people who can’t see anything but the imagined agendas.

  5. Sounds like a response that might come out of congresscritter McKinney…

    Screaming “Racist!” AND “Sexist!”

    Don’t sweat it…

  6. Please continue to blog, LawDog. I truly enjoy your stories. This particular one had my laughing my socks off. I could absolutely picture the scene in my mind. Obviously the ninny who has her panties in a wad is much too sensitive. I appreciate the fact that you were close enough and intimate enough with the people who live in your county that you call them by name. I don’t live in a large town or county, and I doubt there’s a single police officer here who knows my name, much less what I look like. My husband’s cousin excepted. So, don’t rethink blogging too much, unless of course, it’s to think about writing more stories and a book.

  7. And you care about their opinion why?? Geez Lawdog- I can’t remember when I’ve read someone with the style, both humorous and intelligent, that you have. You stop writing, and I’ll go throw a ChitChat down [can’t remember ms. hyper-sensitive blogger’s name]’s blouse!

    One more thing.. Could you PUHLEEEASE finish the pink gorilla suit story? You’re killing me!

  8. I read those folks comments, and I believe it is simple bigotry on their part. You are from Texas, so you must not be well trained, must be a racist and so on. I love your stuff; it reminds me of checking an elderly lady’s water heater at 2am that “was going to blow up”. Or taking a report of rape by space aliens. You give them a slice of your day and they project their problems and find “undercurrents”. Thanks for your work. Keep it up.

  9. That is the hard thing about being a LEO and posting on line. I really think out each post to make sure that when/if my blog goes public in my community I can fully stand behind each word I wrote.

    I enjoy your stories law dog and I honestly don’t see a problem with them. You need to however keep you and yours safe first, and that includes the well-being of your career.

  10. Ignore them. The original poster complains that your post if full of hate and discrimination, and fails to make even the slightest effort to demonstrate how this is so.

  11. Lawdog, everyone else has pretty much summed up what I would say.
    I work nights at a PD here in Kentucky. Your outlook on things hits right on spot.

    Keep up the good work and don’t let the naysayer get ya.

  12. DAWG! Anyone that has is fortunate to speak with you one-on-one through ANY means of communication can tell that you are NOTHING like what that…uh…woman (spoken loosley, but with as much respect as possible *chuckle*) claims you to be.

    It all boils down to this:

    LEO’s, ALL of them, regardless of population, location, training level, crime rates, time on job, etc, have a tasking that places their own sanity at risk- and the only way to handle it is to be able to step back and look at the humor of any given situation. YOU have the uncanny ability of presenting the poliuce humor in such a way as to make MOST people look at the job, and each situation you write about, the way you do. Through your writings the “average reader” can put themselves in your shoes and, not only see WHAT you see… but more importantly, IDENTIFY with HOW you see it. This IS NOT, nor SHOULD NOT BE, viewed as stereotypical, sexist, racist, masochistic, necropheliac, or any other five-dollar word that those with over-active stomache acids want to throw at you.

    It is simply police humor, that you are brave enough to share with the world. IMHO, the world needs to see more of it to truly understand why a passing motorist can look to the side of the road and see any number of LEO’s amongst the chaos of hell itself seemingly oblivious to the terror/pain, whilst still handling the situation itself. THAT, my friend, is what you bring…an understanding that both, enlightens and entertains, those that don’t know any different.

    Keep it up Lawdog. Don’t let the voice of a few silence you. The voice of many would surly suffer for it.

  13. Wow. A couple of folks with PhD’s in Victimology from the University of Whaah read all their own darkling subtexts into someone else’s words. There’s some news for you. Quick, someone call Katie Couric.

  14. This is typical feminist claptrap.
    I read your stuff every morning. Sometimes, it’s my only laugh for the day.

    You should put all of your writings into a book. I, for one, would buy it.

  15. “The Major” didn’t give up in the face of an attack from a boorish idiot. And everyone *is* guaranteed freeedom of speech in this country, not freedom from being offended. Carry on, sir! We’d be willing to wager there are more who enjoy your writings than there are idiots who get their starched panties up their crack.

  16. It can be a little startling at first, but then you get used to it.

    I would buy the book, too!

  17. Law Dog,

    Did you notice that every one of those second guessing hind sight employing we can tell you how to do it better posts had you waiting for backup?

    If memory serves, in jobs like yours, backup can be an hour coming. Are they really suggesting you should have left Opal to playing with Desmond’s wedding tackle until that hour (or more) had passed?

    In some places (usually big cities) the notion is strong in people’s minds that you don’t need to protect yourself because the cops will. Coupled with the idiotic idea that the cops can be there inside of 30 seconds. (Assuming 30 seconds is fast enough.)


    Please keep writing; your stories have me in stitches.

  18. Lordy, LawDog, if YOU cave in to the PC whiners, where does that leave the REST of us? I do think it’s a good idea to rethink the blogger thing – and post every day instead of every now and then! Anyone who has ever been/seen/known or otherwise interacted with a rural LEO and does not see the GOOD humor in your stories needs a serious knickertwistectomy!

  19. Don’t quit telling us your stories Lawdog! Just because some Lib got all hot & bothered about the Opal story is no reason to quit. You should be proud for your service in TX, and the stories it has given you to share. She probably hates Pat McManus too…

  20. Wow, I have to say that people who are constantly on the lookout for the next thing to cry foul over must be tough to live with.

    Also wanted to add a +1 on the legion of fans from THR. And also, as stated above, PLEASE FINSIH THE PINK GORILLA STORY.

  21. As J.R. “Bob” Dobb said, “Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke.”

    Not everyone finds the same jokes funny, and I’m getting sick of this liberal PC crap trying to tell us “that’s not funny” when frankly, it is. Geez, I can’t even watch Looney Tunes on DVD without a lecture from Whoopi Goldberg telling me why the cartoons aren’t funny anymore.

  22. Law Dog

    For what it’s worth, I second the opinion of the majority of the people that have responded earlier.

    I’ve never been a LEO, but I spent 20(+) years in the military in Combat Arms assignments: the Airborne Infantry for the most part. In my “Twilight Tour,” just prior to retirement, I helped “run” a Military Training Facility in the “Republic of Texas” that LEO’s from the Local, State, and Federal level used on a weekly basis. I still hang out with a couple from the local Sheriffs Department that I met at the local range and through a Martial Arts Academy where I practice. From what I’ve heard second hand through these friends and acquaintances within the LEO community, I’ve got to say that what I hear in your stories rings true.

    Most “war” stories in the military and LEO community, which my “boss” (peace be upon her) would call testosterone laden, alcohol influenced lies (that lady just doesn’t have a sense of humor about certain things) follow, for the most part, a simple pattern. Through no fault of the storyteller’s part, something interesting/scary/stupid/funny happens and by luck; be it blind/bad/ or other, the storyteller muddles through, somehow or another without being to badly abused. Not only is the story, if told well, good entertainment, it is also a teaching point for the newer, less experienced members of the community. Which reminds me of the red, flashing light and the night parachute drop…

    The problem, as I see it, is that folks who have never been out on the “pointy end” just can’t understand the mindset of folks that have “walked the walk.” They are huddled in their soft, well-protected cocoons where the toughest thing they have to face is a harshly spoken word directed towards them by one of their co-workers or boss. (One of these days I need to tell you the story about the inter-reaction I had with some folks from the Foreign Service on a small island in the Caribbean.)

    Even though I no longer “run with the big dogs” (to old, fat, bald and slow these days) I can still relive the good old days (vicariously of course) by hanging out with the Young Turks at the Dojo and the Range, and at your blog. Unless the Sheriff tells you to “tone it down a bit,” and if it continues to bring you as much pleasure to write your tales as it brings me and others reading them, I would disregard the “PC” ankle-biters: “Sod ‘em” as one of my Brit “Para” buds would say. As a transplanted Texan residing in the “People’s Republic of North Carolina” your stories of home, and the Law Enforcement Community brighten my day immeasurably.

    Illegitimi Non Carborundum

  23. Good Lord man, don’t stop blogging! I know I retold that particular story to some coworkers. They got a good laugh and I didn’t do half the job you did.

    Ditto finishing the pink gorilla story.

    The problem with ignorant know-it-alls is that they don’t realize they are ignorant. These people are reading racism and sexism into places it does not belong and does not exist. Ignore those dumbasses and do what you want.

  24. Hey Lawdog,

    I checked out the link and took the time to read the comments left on “Her” blog concerning you. By my count, her commentors stacked up with 5 comments in YOUR favor, 4 neutral, and only 3 actually being negative toward you. Her hubby, “Dof” had the unique status of submitting both a negative and a neutral comment.

    By my count, this means you win.

    Keep up the good work!

  25. Screw her. Just another one of millions of “enlightened” people projecting their own insecurities and dark beliefs on others. I’ve got more uses for a bag of Black Cow than for someone with unresolved guilt that causes them to crawl up on the cross and browbeat political correctness into people with passive-aggressive holier-than-thouness.

  26. Ditto the chorus here, Law Dog.
    I’m ex military, ex LEO also and I can relate to the “war stories”.
    An earlier commenter mentioned that many of these PC people have never had to fight for anything, much less their lives, and are totally unable to understand the sheepdogs of this world.
    Do not despair, there are many, many more out here that support you and your brothers in keeping us asfe.

  27. Dude, you should see some of the comments I get. If I gave a dman about how/what oversensitive politically correct idiots “thought” I wouldnt be doing this.

  28. Law Dog,
    Do not let one narrow minded liberal cause you to doubt the great thing you do. You provide humor and insight to countless people on a daily basis. The person that said this is most likly not in law enforcement, and I can assure not a true Texan. When things look bleak and everyone seems out to get you remember the Alamo.

  29. LawDog, please don’t stop writing. I’ve seen your stuff on both TFL and THR, and I enjoy it immensely. Like so many others, sometimes your blog is the best part of my day.

    I posted a reply in your defense on the lady’s page. It’s long, but it states what I think.

    Your sister-in-law is right. Keep up the good work.

    And finish the pink gorilla suit story, will ya? The wait is killin’ us!


  30. Law Dog,

    I hope you will continue to blog and ignore the idiotic comments from the dhimmis in training.

    I greatly enjoy your stories and think you you have a unique and most humourous style.

  31. Whoa, Nelly!
    What kind of a wasps’ nest have we stirred up here?
    1st of all ‘Dog, I’ve met ya’ and I hope you know I hold you in high regard and esteem.
    2nd of all: I’ve been a feminist for 35 yrears. Before you other bloggers get your Vickies in a twist, I’m not a man-hating, humorless, femi-nazi. I’m an intelligent woman who can think for herself and defend herself, with appropriate fire power if necessary.
    3rdly: I’ve been married to 2 LEOs and if a nonLEO starts to criticize them in my presence, they better bring their lunch, cause we’re gonna go at it all day long.
    And lastly, LawDog, you are so far from being a misogynistic, homophobic, bigot that those kind of folks avoid your company because you’re too smart and you scare them.
    If you can get off the 1st Sat in June come see me shoot in my 1st match.

  32. LawDog:

    Please continue blogging. I really enjoy your stories. We need more laughter in the world, not less.

  33. I just perused the “offended” party’s website. What planet are these people from? What a bunch of morons.

    The Opal story was funny as hell. If they can’t see that, screw ’em.

  34. Thunder, anon,

    I am going to quote you both for a blog project. Thanks for the kind words relating to the LEO field. They are very appreciated.

  35. Its the net, someone will always get their panties in a bunch (oops, a little sexist there) over something. Don’t worry about it and keep writing, I LOVE your work, and am thinking of becoming a reserve deputy because of it.


  36. Good grief, man… don’t let a couple of “sensitive” types make you stop!

    I live in the People’s Repulic of Massachussetts, and your stories brighten up my morning (I check my email and read a few blogs before heading for work). I’m sure that some of your stories would annoy some folks up here, but so what?

    Some stories are just too good NOT to tell… and yours definitely count in that category. (your story about “the Major” is going to get sent to my friends).

    Keep up your writing, and thank you for it.

  37. Law Dawg,

    As I’ve said before, Thank You for sharing a slice of you with me. I ALWAYS enjoy a hearty laugh out of your stories. Please keep up blogging and going about the very serious business of lightening the load we carry but giving us a laugh.

    Your SIL sounds like a pretty smart woman, too me.

    God Bless,

  38. Lawdog, ignore the critics, I love your stories and point people to them all the time (I have to point, if I try reading them to folk I stop breathing from laughing and they never get to hear the end of the tale hehehehe).

  39. I’ve recommended your site to friends & family. Can’t think when I’ve laughed so much. You and the folks you deal with could just as easily be from AL as TX. Reactions are the same & you surely speak my language! The fireworks story sounded a lot like my in-laws 🙂

  40. Lawdog, I'm only finding this now because your home page has been and still is stuck on the March 26 post, showing nothing newer.

    Anyway, I recall your posts about this family, and nothing in them indicated to me that they were any particular color. I'd say the people crying racism must be racists themselves to assume that no whites would fit that profile. And I have more than enough experience with poor white trash to know that some of them _do_ act like that.

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