Felony Chicken

Ok, you need:

Two whole chickens.
Two cans of beer.
Garlic, limes, poultry seasoning.
Your favorite BBQ rub.

Take your chickens. Make sure they are defrosted, and the giblets are removed. Fire up your BBQ grill, find two buddies, hand each buddy one beer with instructions to lower the level of beer in the can by one-third.

Rub the outside of the chickens generously with your BBQ rub. Sprinkle poultry seasoning on the inside of the birds.

Smack your buddies on the back of the head, and retrieve your now half-full cans of beer.

Crush and dump one clove of garlic into each can. It’s going to fizz, it’s okay.

Split your lime into quarters and place two quarters on top of each can of beer.

Grease the outside of your beer cans, and insert your chickens onto the beer cans, so that the two legs of the chicken form a tripod with the beer can being the third leg.

Wait for the inevitable jokes. (“You know, ‘Dog, in some States that would be a felony…”)

Carefully place the upright chickens on the grill, close the lid and cook until the juice runs clear at the joints.

Carefully remove the chickens and cans from the grill and very carefully un-violate the chickens.

Slice and serve.


And yet, no high-speed disassembly...

6 thoughts on “Felony Chicken”

  1. Someone’s copying someone here, except that I also squeeze a little of the lime into the beer.

    Serve with baked pototoes and sour cream and bacon bits.

    …and a few hot peppers.

    Papa Ray
    West Texas

  2. Dog, I’ve cooked something similar to this before, but minus the lime and the garlic. Mixed up an olive oil and threw in some Cabela’s Kansas City rub and a touch of garlic salt.

    Smoked the chicken for about 4 hours with a mixture of charcoal, oak, and mesquite wood.

    Damn, that was good!!

    Thanks for the recipe!!

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