Post-4th of July recovery

I have finally tried the bottled Guinness Draught.

Someone should have told me that you’re not supposed to pour it into a glass; it’s to be consumed out of the bottle.

Who the hell drinks Guinness out of a bottle? Guinness is supposed to be poured into a glass, as God intended.

Ah, well.

Much dead animal flesh was smoked, or slow-cooked, or scorched to perfection, and wolfed down by all involved. Fireworks were watched, fireworks were initiated, small children were shown really nifty tricks with pyrotechnics — out of sight of their mothers — and this Independence Day was solemnly declared to be one of the “Best Ever.”

In other news, North Korea had a firework display of their own when their deadly, dangerous Taepodong-2 “imploded” (that’s boffin-speak for “fell apart”) after 35 seconds of flight. Several others were launched throughout the day, none of which had a flight-time that came close to anything flown by the The Amateur Rocketry Society of America at a weekend meet.

Whole buncha folks who really ought to be keeping their traps shut are having kittens over the whole North-Korea-launching-missiles-thing.

I am somewhat less than impressed. World-class Bad Guys and they can’t keep a rocket in the air for a full minute?

Want to borrow some bamboo, gaffer-tape, and a house-lizard? I’ll even brew up some black-powder for you.

I suppose I shouldn’t joke about it, because I imagine that the Head Geek In Charge of Missile Launching probably felt so much shame over the results of the missile test(s) that he drove over to North Korean Secret Police HQ and shot himself. Four times. In the back of the head. While handcuffed.

The Good Ol’ U.S. of A, on the other paw, managed to get the Space Shuttle Discovery into low-Earth orbit again, despite pieces of fuel-tank insulation deciding to part company at odd times.

Hey, North Korea, if you look real close, you might be able to see some dude in orbit wearing an American patch cocking a snook at you through the shuttle window.

Yes, Kim Jong-Il, we’re still better than you. Get over it.


Reader Huck Phinn asks:

9 thoughts on “Post-4th of July recovery”

  1. Actually, there is Guinness that is acceptable to drink from the bottle. It’s Guinness Extra Stout, not the pub draft shite. I’ve seen Guinness Extra Stout in cans, but never tried that.

  2. Forgive me for being contrary and for seeming to defend DPRK, but a lot of our stuff blew up when we first tried it. See Tom Wolfe, The Right Stuff, for an entertaining discussion of the early days of the space program. To be sure, an open society and a vibrant economy are significant advantages in getting from “rocket go boom” to “rocket go zoom,” but there’s no iron law that says DPRK won’t figure it out.

  3. Call me uninformed, but what exactly would I be doing if I was “cocking a snook?”

  4. Jason, I suspect it is somewhat akin to shooting the bird.

    Hey Kim Jong Ill, you’re “number one”!

  5. Dawg, seems some of the purported damage to the shuttle was, uh, not exactly ‘damage’ in the traditional sense…some seagulls, or pidgeons apparently roosted on the wing edges, and did what birds do…. 😉

  6. To “Cock a snook” spread apart all 5 fingers of one hand, put your thumb against the tip of your nose with 4 fingers pointed up, and wiggle the 4 vertical fingers.

    The name sounds more obscene than the gesture looks.

  7. guiness, only drinkable when mixed 50/50 with bass ale… yes, i am cocking the ol snoot at ya.

    shame on you for drinking anything other than shiner bock anyways…

  8. It’s perfectly acceptable to drink Guinness Draught out of a glass. They just designed it (plastic rocket widget) to be just as good straight out of the bottle. I’m not a fan of the Stout Guinness, but I love the Draught. Boddingtons is another good pub brew that comes in a pint can with another plastic device in it that creates a good head of foam when poured in a glass. It’s a very tasty Honey beer from England. It’s a “Must Try” if you’ve never had it.

Comments are closed.