Good evening, class. My name is Professor LawDog, and I will be your instructor for this block of training.
Due to the amount of e-mail I have received concerning this subject, today’s class will cover an alternative deployment of the weighted strap.
A weighted strap is, of course, a weight on one end of a flexible strap.
A field-expedient strap can be a rope, a belt, a hose, purse strap, oxygen line, panty hose, electrical cable, sash, scarf, dog-leash, pillow-case, sock, child-leash, phone cable, or any other flexible strip of material that the human mind can spot.
Likewise, the weight is anything heavy that can be attached to one end of the strap. My personal favorite is a padlock with a laminate construction, usually referred to as a MasterLock. Generic versions can be had cheaply from most hardware stores.
Now, a significant portion of e-mail enquiries have taken me to task concerning the use of a weighted strap in a confined area — such as presented by an aeroplane walkway. They have stated — and quite rightly — that swinging a flexible weapon in this environment will probably lead to the weapon connecting with obstacles and/or frozen sheep before tapping the critter, and that this prior connection will probably be detrimental to your desired result.
Well, yes, but the beauty of the weight on a strap is that it doesn’t necessarily have to be swung at arm’s length.
For the purposes of this exercise, we have Abdul the Moderately Rabid standing in front of the door to an airliner cock-pit at the front end of a plane, box-cutter firmly in paw.
Take the dress belt and thread the tongue through the buckle. Place this loop around your dominant wrist.
Firmly tie the padlock to the tongue end of the belt.
At this time, you should have one end of the belt firmly looped around your dominant wrist and — depending on your figure — a padlock tied to the other end of a 16 to 30 inch strap.
Take the padlock into your dominant hand. If you wish, you may tuck the belt loosely in your sleeve, or hide it behind your arm. Make sure that it may flow freely, however.
Now, the most difficult part of the exercise: get up from your seat and advance upon Abdul. Focus your gaze upon the bridge of his nose.
When you get to the distance where you may reach out and almost touch his boxcutter with your off-hand, I want you to haul off and fast-pitch the padlock into his schnozz. Under-hand, over-hand, side-arm, it doesn’t matter. Throw that padlock through his snout.
Now, Abdul is at that location that we refer to as ‘The Hurt Locker’. He can block the hurtling padlock with an arm, but that’s going to really suck; he can block it with his face — which is pretty much what we’re after — or he can duck.
The only thing we’re concerned about is whether Abdul goes down, or if he stays up.
If he stays up, take a firm grip upon the strap at the half-way point (more or less) and vigorously apply the padlock where it will do the most good while he tries to adjust to the change in his world-view.
If he goes down — whether from ducking or due to impact — feel free to break-in your cowboy/engineer/combat boots between applications of the lock.
Repeat last step as necessary.
This concludes today’s lesson.