Oh, you didn’t!

When people come to jail, any cash they have on them is deposited in an Inmate Account. Upon release, a check is written to the person for the balance remaining.

Or used to be.

Yes, Gentle Readers, a critter has forged Sheriff’s Office Inmate Checks.

Now, let me ask you something: if you were employed in a business or institution that cashes checks, and one day someone brings in a check with the words,


across the front of the check in big, blue you-can’t-miss-this letters, said person wanting you to cash this check for a couple of hundred dollars…

…would that kind of thing sort of get your attention, and maybe stick in your mind?

Well, what if the same person came in three days in a row and cashed four different ***PRISONER ACCOUNT*** checks — each one for several hundred dollars?


You know, on CSI they would have fumed for fingerprints, checked for trace epithelial skin cells and gotten DNA, matched the ink to the printer cartridge and the writing on the check to a specific make, model and individual printer.

Handwriting experts would have been consulted on the signature on each check, pen experts would have chimed in on the what type of pen was used, and somebody would have wound up looking at the check with an incredibly bright flashlight in a dark room (why they would do this, I don’t know but they do it every episode).

‘Round here, the detective on the case ran the Drivers License number written on each check by the cashier. Then he took the name that came back and ran it through local/TCIC/NCIC and discovered that the person attached to that name had an extensive criminal history for …

… wait for it …


So, he took a mugshot of the person who belonged to the Drivers License, put it in a photo line-up with five other folks and took it to the teller — who had no difficulty at all pointing to the person who had been cashing the ***PRISONER ACCOUNT*** checks.

Ten minutes of office work, and half-an-hour of driving to-and-fro.


CSI probably had more fun, though.


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7 thoughts on “Oh, you didn’t!

  1. Can’t help but think all the people heading into the forensics type fields due to CSI and such are in for a world of disappointment. Can’t wait for the half-assed jobs these people will do…

  2. Some hot chicks on CSI tho…I am personally partial to Vegas.

    What!!! You mean the girls don’t look like that?

  3. Shouldn’t the forger realize that the sheriff’s office might be a little pissed off at this offense and seek to make his life a living hell?

  4. Reminds me of a story I heard once, about an especially clueless critter in a city I used to live in. Seemed that this critter was up in municipal court on some lesser charge, something for which your average critter would get an affordable bail figure.

    This critter paid his bail by personal check. Unfortunately, the bank detected a rather significant problem with said check.

    I ask you, how bloody stupid do you have to be to pay for bail — for BAIL — with a rubber check?

  5. Worked with an insurance company north of Philadelphia with a bank branch office in the building. One of the guys stole some checks from another worker’s desk drawer(which would indicate that the co-worker wasn’t too bright, either), then went down to the bank to cash one. It was his luck to pick the one teller, Iva, who knew every one of the 1,300 people in the building. So as she processed the check, she also hit the “help” button. Surprise, surprise! OldeForce

  6. Stupidity and optimism. Where else will you find a combination like that?

    Oh. Yeah. Liberals.

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