While discussing the Academy-Award-winning PowerPoint presentation of Al Gore a couple of days ago, I theorized that the fact that the planet Mars is also undergoing an increase in temperature was most probably due to the fact that Mr. Gore hadn’t yet travelled to Mars, since he seems to have brought below-normal temperatures and snow everywhere else he’s gone.

My buddy Reno was quick to set me straight, however.

“You,” he rumbled smugly, “Are missing the obvious. Anyone worth his patchouli understands — on an emotional level — that the Martian warming is completely due to a secret BushCo installation on Mars — Halliburton, of course — which is plundering the precious natural resources of the Martian ecosphere. Clear-cutting old growth forests, running over endangered Martian spotted owls in SUVs, the usual.”

You know, we snickered our butts off over that one, but — and this is one really scary thought — there’re some folks out there who believe this is Gospel, or just haven’t thought of it yet.



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Dammit, dammit, dammit

8 thoughts on “Doh!”

  1. Lawdog, any ‘Global Warming Denier’ comments are sure to draw the wrath of the unwashed.
    Their need for religion is filled by following a snake-oil salesman from Tennessee, and their substitute for patriotism is their dedication to the ‘higher calling’ of saving the world.
    A side effect of their cult-like behaviour, though, is the rabid attack of anyone who dares to bring up inconvenient facts that don’t happen to support their apocolyptic vision.
    What really scares me is the thought that a large percentage of the population is openly, nay, proudly exhibiting symptoms of psychological ailment.

  2. My English 102 class is being forced to watch that disgusting load of bull…the teacher (who is a former gov’t employee) absolutly fawns over it…

    At least, most of the rest of the class doesn’t drink the koolaid…

    Nevermind the fact that there is not a single big-time “enviromentalist” who does not drive a big honking SUV and gets to fly in a private jet or lives in a mansion…

  3. Mars is heating up from the exhaust from the Mars Rover that’s been sitting there idling for a couple of years now.

    Hey, it’s kind of like an SUV!

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