Whattowrite, whattowrite, whattowrite …

I hate Writers Block.

I’m sitting here, staring at this bloody little white square, and I can almost believe that it’s taunting me.

And Goddess only knows that there’s enough stuff whirling through my mind to make a couple of blog posts…

The Honourable Congresscritter from Houston has authored a bill to make the police use, or purchase, of Tasers unlawful from Jan 2008 until Jan 2009 — so that someone somewhere can ponder the civil rights implications of Tasers.


Oh, boy! I get my stainless steel stick back! Baton chokes for everyone! Happy days are here again …

*sigh* Politicians.

I’ve got a real nice “Meditations” post on dealing with panic that refuses to gel, another one on blending with your environment, and I really should finish off the Saga of the Pink Gorilla.

Got a couple of tales about bush pilots in Nigeria in the 60’s and 70’s, kind of funny in a OhMyGawdWe’reGonnaDie sort of way.

And then there was the time the Usual Suspects decided that Chris and I were being denied a proper Fourth of July celebration and promptly … acquired … munitions from the Nigerian Army.

You haven’t seen a real fireworks display until you’ve given napalm, semtex, and several thousand rounds of tracer ammunition to a pack of sloshed engineers.

But, noooo, I’m sitting here with Writers Block and I can’t even get the posts started.



Off we go into the wild green yonder ...

29 thoughts on “Whattowrite, whattowrite, whattowrite …”

  1. I feel your pain brother. I spend about a half an hour a night staring at that damned white box before I give up and go play my MMO.

    Oh well, your muse will come back…after she’s done rubbing my feet. heh heh

  2. Hold off on the pink primate story end– you gotta leave something for the book.

  3. OHHH stories from nigeria!!
    I do SO love those stories…simply because with them, its more of like when I was a kid growing up in the backwoods of Georgia..the only limit you have to amusement was your own imagination…

  4. Dawg, I have a little technique for writer’s block. Basically, I open a new window of OpenOffice Writer/MS Wurd (for you who haven’t yet joined the Open Source Revolution), and just start doing a full stream-of-consciousness braindump of everything that crosses my mind into it.

    Things judged to be of some value get copy/pasted into ANOTHER word-processor window, with more stream-of-consciousness riffing off them. When I get to about three printed pages’ worth in 10-point single-spaced, I then go back and purge the “byproduct material”.

    Once I’ve ID’ed some good stuff, I reread what I’ve marked and just free-associate, letting my mind wander and dumping my thoughts into the WP. And then I just repeat a necessary.

    No, I’m not a blogger, but I write a lot of essays. And yes, having two gigs of RAM up my laptop’s backside is REALLY nice… 😀

  5. If that was the list of Nominees, I’d vote for the Pink Gorilla.

    Don’t crank that out soon and everyone over at THR/TFL gonna hunt you down, Dawg!


  6. For a writer’s block post, that was muy entertaining, ‘specially the bit about sloshed engineers. Good times.

  7. Even your complaints about writer’s block are entertaining; no one’s complaining on our end.

  8. Don’t leave the Pink Gorilla dangling over us! I’ve been waiting on that for almost a year now!

  9. Holly, would you or the Dearly Beloved please take care of Matt for his suggestion to hold off on the Pink Gorilla?

    And LD, we’re waiting for the rest of the Mustache, too.

  10. My fellow office mates and fans of LawDawg respectfully request:

    The last part of the pink gorilla story.

  11. Nigerian 4th please,

    second choice

    Go Gorrillias
    go gurellias
    Go Gorrillia?


  12. Well, here’s some encouragement.

    A few years ago, I asked for your permission to use “Ali Cheap-Cheap’s Big Surprise” (from another forum) for our Middle School Forensics team. As you recall, the team who used it took first in the State competition with it.

    This year we are using it again, and the team has qualified for the State competition. Frankly, if these two boys can stay “on” their game, they should clean up.

    SO!! Write ON!! Your Stuff is Good!

  13. “Whattowrite, whattowrite, whattowrite …”

    Should it be another tale of Big Mamma’s spawn?

    How about another hairy armadillo (I’m hanging upside-down on film!!!) tale.

    I, too, suffered such. Look up a bit of GK Chesterton’s writings & relax with a good read. Sometimes, one needs to re-load, even with a 75 round drum.


    You stuff’s good!

  14. IMO LawDog is just teasin’ us.

    I’ve been to the area inhabited by writer’s block before. In my experience true writer’s block prevents even the idea of a subject from coming to the front of the mind, or going anywhere near the fingers that are supposed to type it.

  15. Maybe you could explain to said political types that once the use of tasers is removed from the peace officer bag of tricks, the next most likely weapon of choice will be firing real genuine cop killer bullets with a big damn hollow point.
    Personnely i’d rather be tazed, but that just me.


  17. I’m here having a quiet little mourning session because after first stumbling over here in October or thereabouts, I’m finally done giggling, snorting, and cheering through all the archives.

    Good lord, however am I going to find hours of enlightenment and entertainment in the afternoons NOW?

  18. I would really appreciate you touching on the topic of blending with your environment. My Dad and I were just having a conversation about this very topic on Thursday.

  19. As a former troop, I vote multiple times for sloshed engineers. Nothing says happiness like kabooms.

  20. I understand the clamor for further tales of the psychedelic simian, and I do hope to eventually read the conclusion myself.

    But it’s been far too long since we read the adventures of the Usual Suspects. I vote for a new installment of the Nigerian Adventure.

    Your tales remind me of my own childhood in rural Arkiesaw, where time, space, and imagination were a boy’s best friends. While I didn’t have a group of sloshed Suspects as enablers, my parents and their friends were quite… “inspirational” in my misadventures.

  21. I’ve gotta second (third? fourth?) the votes for the kabooms….

    Reading about the homemade trebuchet and other siege artillery had me laughing so hard my co-workers were threatening to sedate me! Oh, and my coworkers are paramedics. They would do it too. They’d load up a syringe of versed, sneak up behind me, and dart me. And then it’s sleepy time….

  22. ‘Dog, what everyone’s missed in discussing your writer’s block is that you’re sitting there looking at that “little white square”. Not to be a wiseass, but it’s a little white rectangle. There, now that that’s taken care of, will you please finish up the gorilla story! OldeForce

  23. You, sir, are an evil temptr… er, whatever the male of “temptress” is.

    And I also vote for the pink gorilla story. Very sadistic of you to make us wait so long.

  24. Pink Gorilla, Saga of the Mustache, and The Usual Suspects 4th of July, if you please. Put out those three, in that order, and you’ll keep us all off your butt for at least a week!

  25. LawDog was heard to opine: “Whattowrite, whattowrite, whattowrite …”

    I don’t know what to say about your “block,” but I sure hope you get it resolved soon…I’m about to go into withdrawal!!!

    As a suggestion; being a (now retired) airline pilot, who, in much earlier days, flew the bush, I’d LOVE to hear about bush flying African style. After seeing cumulo-granite rush by my wingtip, during a turn, whilst solid IFR, I can only GUESS what Africa must have had up her sleeve for the unsuspecting passenger.

  26. There’s also the story of Sneezy and the raft, which was hinted at earlier (part 5 of the ratel trap, IIRC)….

  27. I do recall foreigners desire to make us yankees feel at home on the 4th of July can be met with some enthusiasm.

    When I was last in Central America, the locals, too, took it upon themselves to do the closest they could manage to fireworks. I must say, what it lacked in colorful lights it more than made up for in concussive force and crater-making.

    God Bless the USA.


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