Oh, Judas Priest on a flaming pogo stick!

Someone has got to be pulling my leg.

According to this story, a one-year-old child by the name of Joey Cosmillo fell into the family swimming pool and did his damnedest to drown himself.

His mother found him, hauled him out, but he wasn’t breathing. She took the sprog into the house and dialled 911. Rescuers — bless their hearts — got him breathing again, but the time he spent not breathing has done some nasty damage. He is unable to walk, he is unable to talk and he can’t even breathe on his own.

He is currently in the care of a nursing home five miles from his house, where he can receive the 24-hour-a-day care that his breathing tube and his feeding tube require.

Keep that in mind.

One of the responding public servants — Casselberry PD Sgt Andrea Eichhorn — who arrived minutes after Joey’s mother fished him out of the pool and carried him into the house to dial 911, is suing Joey’s mother, his grandmother and his grandfather.

Why, you ask?

Well, it seems that Sgt. Eichhorn stepped through the door into the bedroom where rescuers were working upon one-year-old Joey — attempting to save his life — she slipped on a puddle of water and injured her knee.

To be fair, reports are that Sgt. Eichhorn actually fractured the knee. Of course, reports also say that she continued to work the scene — it was only “later that day” that she sought treatment for the injury.

The tile-crawling invertebrate hired by Sgt. Eichhorn to represent her in this lawsuit states:

“It’s a situation where the Cosmillos have caused these problems, brought them on themselves, then tried to play the victim,”

We will now pause to allow the full impact of that statement to sink in.

Their precious child almost died. Did die, near as I can tell, and suffered extensive, life-altering injuries — requiring 24 hour professional care.

And this qualifies as “playing the victim”?

*blink, blink*

You two-bit, four-flushing, dirty, rotten, knee-biting, inbred vomitous mass.

You meretricious, soul-less, microcephalic, forked-tongued carbuncle in the armpit of humanity.

Is your mother proud of this, or — as I suspect — did you spontaneously spawn as the gelatinous mass in the bottom of a used jock-strap bin, thus sparing any woman the utter humiliation of admitting that she failed to drown you as soon as she saw the cruel, debased and sadistic gleam in your porcine little eyes — you complete and utter vulture; you black-hearted, slime-trailing little invertebrate.

And that goes double for your client — who the hell do you think you are? You busted your knee, sad, but we’re in a rough line of work, princess, and anyone who told you any different Lied. To. You.

Who the hell are you to burden this family further? What kind of sociopathic, money-grubbing , cold-blooded parasite goes out of her way to heap insult onto tragedy?

Did some sulphur-reeking vermin from the lowest pits of hell crawl onto your shoulder and whisper sweet dreams of pieces of silver into one of your avaricious little ears — is that your excuse?

Do you really think that — after paying for the medical bills of this child; after paying for the 24 hour care; after paying for the nursing home that he’ll probably spend the rest of his earthly days in — that there’s going to be anything left?

And just what the hell makes you think you’re entitled to one, single, lousy red cent?

You, madam, you and your attorney, are a prime example of why public floggings should never have gone out of style.


UPDATE: I would like to extend an ‘attaboy’ to the Casselberry Police Department — according to this story (published during the time I was writing) Sgt. Eichhorn has been removed from duty.

There is also a press release from Casselberry PD here.

Thank you, Chief, for taking a principled stand.


An Observation
Say what?

42 thoughts on “Oh, Judas Priest on a flaming pogo stick!”

  1. So, what now, should this mother have been expected to stop the first responders at the front door and say “wait a moment while I mop up this water before you resuscitate my baby”? Or perhaps she should have prepared liability release statements for the “officer” to sign before allowing her in?
    This story is unbelievable.
    Next time I dial 911 I think I’ll specify that they only send an officer who agrees not to sue me if they get hurt on this call.

  2. LawDog, I stand in awe of the eloquence of your writing.

    This slime and her attorney need to run out of town on a rail after being tarred and feathered. How DARE they sue the family. I do hope the family files a countersuit.

  3. Indeed. Even a diseased anus on occasion has a useful function; Sgt Andrea Eichhorn is but a Hemorrhoid.

    Her creature with a law license, on the other tentacle, is kin to a mythological beastie. Imagine, if you will, where the Hydra had multiple heads, this creature with a law license has multiple anuses.

    There’s a photoshopped “Preparation H” Ad involving a revolver that’s appropriate here.

  4. This part really takes the cake:

    “City Manager Barbara Lipscomb, in a prepared statement, said she wanted to encourage Casselberry residents to continue to call 911 when there is an emergency.”
    Why? When the responders to the emergency only make it worse?

  5. Calling that lawyer a microcephalic is doing a dis-service to actual microcephalics.

  6. That right there is a perfect example of how this world is going to hell in a handbasket. Seriously, where did this piece of slime come from?
    Unbelievable. Simply unbelievable.

  7. Honestly, she doesn’t have aleg to stand on in court. That said, they should dismiss her for bringing discredit upon the profession. Then break her other leg.

  8. Jeeeez…..as if we didnt have a bad enough reputation as it is.

    I’m ashamed to admit I’m in the same profession as her.

    I’ve had more than my share of on duty injuries, including blowing both knees up, but to SUE behind it?…and the family that called 911 to boot?

    Unless things are WAY diffent in Florida than they are here in the PRC, she did not lose ANY money behind this…she probably made MORE money while off IOD (a portion of your pay is tax free when out on injury leave) and her medical costs were covered as well

  9. Atrocious behavior by the erstwhile sergeant. Hasn’t she ever heard of workman’s comp?

    thanks, ‘Dawg, for posting that, and especiaslly the late add4endum. Shows the city and the agency are trying to do The Right Thing.

  10. An example of the most eloquent and appropriate stream of descriptive verbiage that I have read in a good long while.

    I can hardly believe what some folks are capable of.

  11. That’s conduct unbecoming the profession and she should be fired for it.

    Which, reading between the lines, is exactly what’s coming.

    –Webfoot Logger

  12. Ah, did the Sergeant’s (and I find it difficult to believe she actually got promoted at some time or another) department neglect to take out job-related accident/injury insurance?
    Methinks she’s been also blinded by the prospects of gold-in which case, she can sue again.
    One can only hope she’ll be dismissed with prejudice—-then she can sue the city for wrongful dismissal…..
    However right the Dog may be, I can only deplore the use of name-calling, deserved though it may be.

  13. Sounds like someone doesn’t want to be an LEO anymore. Hopefully her wish shall be granted soon.

    And, you know, despite all her commendations over her 12 year career…THIS is how she’ll be remembered by her co-workers, how she brought embarrassment to their department.

    Shame on her.

  14. Hmmmm, I think there may be much celebration in her department over her departure. ‘Cause if show your ass big time in public in all probability you’ve been pissing off your co-workers small time for a long time.

  15. Dog, you left out one of the most offensive details.

    All of her salary and medical bills were covered for the two months of work she missed.

    Just a gold-digger, who has no business working an honorable (and very unappreciated) area.

  16. It shocks and depresses me that there were not one, but two people in this world whose outlook was so completely narrowed by greed that they actually thought they could pull something like that and come out ahead. I know that scum tend to think everyone else is secretly scum too, but… that’s several orders of magnitude of “OMGWTF”.

    That aside, that was some fine invective.

  17. Glad you pointed out the PD’s actions, because I had missed that. I had also been seething too thoroughly to want to read any more news articles about it or write about it. Glad you could put into words what I couldn’t.

  18. Wow.

    I slipped in a puddle of blood back when my little town had its biker gang war (the War of Hurt Feelings and Machismo) and hurt my knee . . . . although I didn’t fracture it.

    Still, think of the good times I missed! Sitting across the table from the actual victim, next to my lawyer, while he demands their money to make up for their unconscionable sin: they called 911 when they had an emergency.

  19. Hubby is an officer here in west texas, I had to call him and tell him about this. I can’t believe this thing calls herself an officer. She needs to be fired for actions unbecoming a police officer. If they need volunteers for the tar and feathering squad I’ll be happy to put my hand up!

  20. New News:
    Dropping lawsuit.

    Cause, you know, those things are so easy to file. Anybody could do it.

    Looks like the Firefly-esque “Chain of Command” came into play.

    (Not to detract from the invective – the lawsuit was filed, meaning she went to the lawyer(s) (I wouldn’t be surprised if she had to try more than one.), got them to do all the preliminary work in this case, and only dropped it not in response to the family’s plight – but her own.)

  21. How can these scum look at themselves in the mirror without vomiting?

    This has got to be one of the most vile lawsuits I have ever heard of. I hope the lawyer faces professional ruin and that “Woman
    officer” faces a life of constant pain, humiliation and scorn.

  22. That is absolutely sad. I don’t know what would make her WANT to sue in that case. And I hope that slimeball lawyer never gets another case for stooping so low. There is absolutely nothing negligent that that family did when they were trying to save the baby, and now Mr. Heil decides to slap them in the face and re-open their wounds. I very much liked your ass-rippings of the cop and lawyer. Too bad they will probably never get to read them!

  23. You said it all, LD.
    Good on that PD for booting that litigous guttersnipe from their force.

  24. Jaysus… there is a running joke this side of the water that some Americans will sue at the drop of a hat.

    I never thought it would apply to coppers in situations like this… I hope to God she loses her job.

    I’m pretty sure there won’t be many officers wanting to partner up with her or back her up if she does return to work.


  25. I am gonna take so much fire for this even though I think what she did is wrong.
    I have a slightly different take on this.Years ago when starting out in this biz I attended a calibre press street survival seminar. There the subject of officers suing those who do them harm through intentional or negligent means was discussed. While I DO NOT support this officer’s suit and think it was in bad taste I am disturbed at what appears to be a retaliatory action by the department. She was within her rights legally, and there fore should not be penalized by the department by being placed on leave. I am willing however to bet she did this for leverage in a possible medical retirement play.

  26. Grunt, I’m thinking the PD may have done her a favor; She’s on PAID leave, according to this morning’s paper (http://www.OrlandoSentinel.com), and I haven’t seen this amount of public outcry about any other issues around here in a long time.

    She’s no rookie, she’s a Sgt. I have to wonder what kind of backup she’d receive on a call when she really needs it. THAT kind of retaliation I would find repulsive.

  27. Great ghu! Just when I think that trial lawyers can sink no lower, they bring out the post hole digger.

  28. Grunt, there are a number of things that, while perfectly legal, are not moral or ethical. Police officers, like military officers, are, at least in the eyes of the public, held to a higher standard than those in positions of lesser responsibility. This is why the people who will call the police if they see someone carrying openly will have no qualms about seeing a police officer doing the same. The price that is paid for this position of respect is that if you betray that trust, you are not fit to continue in that position. Conduct Unbecoming applies equally to all officers, both military and peace.

  29. Halfway through the post, I was already composing my letter to the Chief of Casselberry P.D.

    I believe that I’ll still be sending a letter, but I shall be sending a congratulations.

    The only time I ever considered suing a homeowner for their negligence causing me injury while I was on duty was when I was bitten in the leg, causing me to have to go to the hospital, while I was attending to a dog bite investigation where the same german shepherd had torn the achilles out of a 12 year old girl. Ruined a $60 pair of Blauer uniform trousers, and gave me a scar on my leg that I’ll wear for the rest of my life.

    But in the end, I never did. (I did see that the dog was put down, though.)

  30. “That is absolutely sad. I don’t know what would make her WANT to sue in that case. “

    It’s no mystery. No one ever got rich off of workman’s compensation, nor from a cop’s salary even if you can draw it while recuperating from an injury.

    I have to assume her lawyer had nothing better to do with his time than to take a long shot at finding a remarkably gullible and sympathetic jury. All the two thought they were risking is time and a few hundred in filing fees; if they didn’t get lucky in jury selection, the law doesn’t allow the jury to fine the plaintiffs, run them out of town on a rail, or hang them. And of course, that’s still all the lawyer lost…

    There is one more villian in the piece that no one has mentioned. Under the common law, that lawsuit would have been tossed out when the judge first read it. The state legislator had to change the law to make such suits possible.


  31. A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she wasn’t sure it was such a good idea. The Doctor asked, “Do you enjoy it?” She said that she did. He asked, “Does it hurt you?” She said no. The Doctor then told her, “Well, then, there’s no reason that you shouldn’t practice anal sex, if that’s what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.” The woman was mystified. She asked, “You can get pregnant from anal sex?” The Doctor replied, “Of course. Where do you think lawyers come from?”

  32. Now LD, tell us how you REALLY feel. *shakes head*

    An old Roman general once said to rebuild Roman Civilization required one thing, to kill every lawyer there was.

    His aide asked him what about the politicians?

    He said, “I said kill all the lawyers.”

  33. Stories like this piss me off like you wouldn’t believe. A doctor nearly killed me last year. Every doctor and lawyer I talked to about my experience agreed that I got “substandard” care. I NEARLY DIED. Spent a month in the hospital. Over a week in ICU. Two weeks on tube feedings. Had to learn to walk, and feed myself, and dress myself, etc., etc., all over again. But I didn’t die, so I can’t find a malpractice attorney to take my case. Now I know why. They’re all too busy suing grief-stricken parents.

  34. “You meretricious, soul-less, microcephalic, forked-tongued carbuncle in the armpit of humanity.”

    ‘Dog, your insults have once again left me in awe and wonderment. Bravo!

  35. And just when I thought I’d heard it all.

    Lawdog, your eloquence in regard to the ambulance-chaser involved is truly awe-inspiring. As for my view, in the immortal words of Captain Hook, “…Mere words cannot express me utter contempt for ya.”

  36. Not to demean the Department of Cassleberry, but I am distressed to note a lack of information regarding any sort of action they might be taking to permanently remove her from staff. As it stands, the letter linked says only that she’s been placed on paid leave. I can’t imagine this putrescent leech objects to sitting at home and collecting a paycheck.

    I realize that department regulations likely forbid her instant dismissal, but it would be nice to hear that the department is dealing with the problem. On the other hand, perhaps they can’t say they are for fear of producing another lawsuit (for wrongful termination, most likely) from this scabrous, vomit faced cockroach.

  37. I’d love to add some invective, but every name I can come up with has already been used.

  38. lawdog,
    i always enjoy watching a master at work, you have a fine, creative, command of the english language and a talent for “le mot juste”, a talent shared by several other posters here. to deputy polarbear, and any other sworn officers here, do not compare your honest and honorable service to this female who has disgraced only herself. you are true to your oaths, she is the one foresworn, not you.

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