Oh. My. Gawd.

The Dignity of Living Beings with Regard to Plants” by the Swiss Federal Ethics Committee on Non-Human Biotechnology.

I figured this had to be a joke.

Not so much — here’s the official report.

Apparently, people cannot (morally speaking) claim absolute ownership over plants — allow me to quote from the paper:

“we may not use them just as we please, even if the plant community is not in danger, or if our actions do not endanger the species, or if we are not acting arbitrarily.”

*blink, blink*

What the hell are they smoking over in Switzerland? I’m guessing — in light of the above-referenced paper — that’s it’s not made from vegetation.

Did no one step back and say, “Whoa, we’re getting a bit stupid here” or maybe “I wonder if we’re getting a bit out of touch with normal humans?”

This is pure, complete and total idiocy.

Plants have no rights. Period. They don’t get to claim “dignity” and ethics don’t apply to plants. If I plant it, I have “absolute ownership” of it. Full stop. End of statement. Pack up your stuff and go home.

If I didn’t plant it, but no one has a beef about it, I’ll do what I want with it.

Here in a week or so, the Texas highways are going to be inundated with bluebonnets. I don’t own these bluebonnets, but if I want to pick a bunch of them, I’m going to. If I want to drop a baby into a clump of them to take pictures, I’m going to. If I want fall over backwards into a clump of them and contemplate for a while — I’m going to.

Because they’re bloody plants and they sodding well don’t have any rights. Or dignity. Or the right to be treated “ethically”. They’re plants.

The fact that the Swiss government has chosen to enshrine “plant dignity” is — to me — a symptom of the creeping disease of self-loathing that has been infecting Western civilisation since the 1960’s — at least.

Why do certain segments of our own populations hate us — hate themselves — so much that they are willing to go to these ridiculous lengths?

More importantly, why do they insist on inflicting the results of their self-hate on everyone else?

Judas Priest on a flaming pogo stick, but I’m getting tired of this kind of stupidity.


We Interrupt ...
Iron Man

30 thoughts on “Oh. My. Gawd.”

  1. Better yet, hollyb, they can’t ethically eat anything, so maybe they’ll all starve to death….?

  2. Save A Plant!
    Eat An Animal!

    Wonder how far that slogan’s going to go?


  3. Gee, if you extend this stupidity out, that means even bacteria and other germs ALSO deserve protection for their own sake (being living organisms), thus we can no longer seek to “destroy” them by using antibiotics, etc. After all, THEY are “living beings” too, according to this nonsense. So, those of us that survive the starvation that will ensue because we can’t eat plants (“living creatures with their own dignity” and all that hogwash) will die of the diseases that are caused by the bacteria that we will no longer be able to treat…

    Idiocy knows no bounds. Just another attempt to control all of our lives.

  4. IceFire, it might be ok to kill bacteria, etc, so long as you’re doing it for a good reason (saving a human life).

    That being said, I’m hoping the fact that this was published in April means that April Fools’ Day is spreading, rather than whatever brain illness caused their reasoning.

  5. Of course it makes sense to the originators. After all, the sentient level of plant so closely mimics that of the committee.

  6. Obviously, the next step is to outlaw the eating of plants. That and the demands of PETA could leave us with a problem.
    Oh! No problem… Soylent Green anyone?

  7. I should have been outraged, or sputtery, or something. Instead I just flicked an eyebrow and pondered collecting recipes for Swiss Chard. I think my exposure to the current state of academic ethical philosophy was too recent for me to react like a normal human.

  8. LawDog,

    You need to watch the YouTube video from Arrogant Worms. You can find it either on my site, or the Grouchy Old Cripple’s site (from whence I stole..errr…obtained it)

  9. It’s not terribly surprising. It’s a logical outgrowth of the moral and ethical arguments based upon human life having no more (or less) value than any other living organism – that LIFE is the determinant, not SENTIENT life.

    One nice thing about liberal philosophy. As time goes on it gets more and more ridiculous until – hopefully – people (other than young children in their first courses at college) will follow it.

    You might find this article funny too – where the government in Britain will come find you and your TV if you don’t license them properly.



  10. uuugh… “those who SURVIVE the STARVATION”???? I don’t think anyone will survive if you can’t eat any living things….

  11. The Swiss made a mistake in adding a flowery anti genetic-engineered foods provision to their constitution … this sort of thing happens when the majority gets to directly vote on such things.

    The government was forced to set up a commission to handle this … it should be no surprise that these commission seats attracted PeTA’rds and vegans like flies to filth.

  12. This kind of ‘report’ is what happens when people have met all their other needs and have nothing else to worry about.

    What a life they must lead in Switzerland that they have the time to sit around and contemplate the ‘dignity’ of plants.


  13. Too bad the Swiss have abandoned their legendary neutrality to take a stand against their own species. What a bunch of maroons.

  14. Wow, and just when I think I have seen or heard the most ignorant thing ever, someone always rewards us with something worse. Dolts.

  15. and to go completely off topic… Does anyone else think that Judas Priest on a flaming pogo stick would be a pretty good concert?

  16. And all soup company CEOs will face charges of vegicide in the world court.Strange stuff.

  17. For the love of God, is our only hope that these people will starve to death? Give me a break! VN8

  18. Go ahead and sprawl in those road side bluebonnets. However, don’t have the experience I did a few years ago, when I discovered that under the flowers were fire ants.

    “Sh*t! Sh*t! Sh*t!,” I shouted, as I beat my clothing.

    But the flowers were pretty.

  19. Hey, it just struck me…I hope no one printed out a hard copy of this stuff!! How many plants had to die for their ‘paper?’ THOSE MURDERING BASTARDS!!

    Yeesh. Some people won’t be happy until they can photosynthesize. Of course, then they’ll start howling about the ‘dignity’ of water, sunlight and dirt.

    I swear, the human race is self-destructing.

  20. LOL..if you pick some LD, make sure to arrest yourself. *8P

    The Bluebonnet is the state flower as I am sure you know and as such, picking them is a no no. *snicker*

    They may not have rights but the State of Texas is kinda protective of thier symbols sometimes…

    *snickers again picturing LD trying to cuff his hands behind his back and then driving from the back seat of the cruiser with his feet*


  21. Potato’s and various grains that have been converted to liquid call me Hannibal Lecter. 🙂

  22. Huh. For the longest time I’ve had an unusual, extended notion of courtesy; thus, I’d try not to crush insects and plants with my tromping, ‘cept when it’s too inefficient to do otherwise. Still, it struck me as a bit odd to codify this sensibility into a document from an ethical committe, but if that’s the way their sensibilities lie…well, I have no problem having similar notions, given that I draw the line of courtesy where going further would impair my functionality.

    The “absolute ownership” clause does strike me as a bit unusual though, if only because it begins to conflate ethical with legal themes.

  23. aepilot jim – don’t you think the members of Judas Priest are getting a bit old for pogo sticks, flaming or not?

    – Victor Krueger

  24. “We may not use them just as we please”…

    Is it just me, or is that begging for a spot in a Dr. Seuss rhyme?

    Anyway, all of this shouldn’t be a problem. See, these scientists are clearly talking about Ents. They’ve found the Entwives, but can’t reveal this to the scientific community at large, so the Swiss government is attempting to protect them via obscure and roundabout means.

    That, or they’ve gone a little loopy.

  25. LSD was discovered by a Swiss chemist.

    This may or may not be relevant…

  26. Lord help us if the Swiss should find out about the ongoing genocide being inflicted upon the helpless kudzu in the southern states.

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