Get ahold of four El Cheapo cat food tins. You want the cans that have the crimp on both the top and bottom, not the ones with the crimp on the top and the rounded, seamless bottom.

Do whatever you feel appropriate with the contents — feed something, throw it away, whatever — then run a can opener around the bottom so that you have a short, squat cylinder open at both ends, peel the labels off, give ’em a quick scrub in soapy water and then bung ’em into the dishwasher on the ‘Pots/Pans’ setting.

If you, or a loved one, is particularly squeamish you can always substitute generic tuna cans, but cat food cans are kind of traditional.


4 cat food tins “egg rings”
4 english muffins
4 large eggs
4 chopped green onions
4 breakfast sausage patties
Couple of big three-finger pinches of shreddy cheese

Crack your eggs into a bowl, add your chopped green onions and the shreddy cheese, and beat well.

Toss your sausage patties onto a hot griddle and cook to your specifications.

Grease the inside of your “egg rings” with butter and place on the griddle. Spoon the egg mixture into the middle of the “egg rings” and cook until done to your satisfaction, turning once.

Split your english muffins and butter the open ends, place on griddle butter side down to toast.

Remove muffins, slide egg/onion/cheese puck in-between the muffin halves, top with a sausage patty.


LawDog’s Breakfast Sandwich.


Oh, hello.

9 thoughts on “Brekkie”

  1. I always wondered where McDonald’s got the idea of using little metal rings to form-cook the eggs for their egg McMuffins.

    Now I know.

  2. Just throw some green chile in there and you have something delicious and a perfect start to the day!

  3. The Poor Man’s Egg McMuffin…. only you don’t have to use the cheapest ingredients possible…..

  4. For bonus points, you could leave the “cat food” labels on. Then, after the cans have been thoroughly washed, put some human food that looks appropriate (say, tuna salad) in the cans and make sure someone sees you eating from the cans. 🙂

  5. Never mind, missed the part where you take the bottom off the can. There goes a perfectly good prank, alas.

  6. Given the choice between the cat food and such a tasty slider, I reasonably believe my cats would maul me and take the slider.

  7. u rock!! From cheap egg mc muffins to pink gorilla suits to restraining orders as deer permits…you are, by far, the coolest PO around!

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