Say what?

There I am, banging furiously away at Ye Olde Keyboard, laboriously describing the utter villainy of the depraved High Priest Thapegti-Thoth, his beauteous, yet evil daughter Marin-Ara, and their henchogre Knudle (the ‘K’ is silent, like in “knight” or “knife”, because if it weren’t, it’d sound like “Canoodle” and that’s just humiliating for a lad wot’s in my line of work, am I right?) when Chris wanders by and mentions, kind of off-hand, “If you find where the cats are hiding the knives, try to get my utility knife back.”

That innocent sentence spent two paragraphs in queue before that little voice in the back of my head said, “Hold on … what?”

My brother is in the habit of emptying his pocket litter into a little glass bowl on top of the bedroom computer tower after work each day. Amongst said pocket litter is usually a utility knife.

Apparently bandit or bandits unknown have been heisting said utility knives — to the tune of about four of them — before sunrise next.

A quick check, and I have discovered that in addition to the above, a Spyderco Delica, a Case Russlock and a Kershaw/Ken Onion Whirlwind are missing from the end table in my room — along with some other small, shiny, easily moved trinkets.


You know, if I were given to flights of fancy, I might wonder what Ittycat has been telling Thing vis a vis veterinarians and neutering.

Since I am not, I think I’ll go find out where those two thieves are stashing their toys.

If I come across a set of Op-Orders signed with a paw-print, though, all bets are off.


Happy 101st.
Texas, by Gawd!

32 thoughts on “Say what?”

  1. I’ve never seen a cat abscond with something inedible.

    I wonder if you have some other kind of critter who likes shiny objects.

  2. Be careful. They’re in the process of arming themselves in preparation for the revolution. The first step is always caching weapons.

  3. I’ve (temporarily) lost entire sets of keys that way. It’s odd, too, in that they can show no interest for weeks or months, then suddenly, it’s more interesting than the can-opener.

    BTW, our missing items usually end up underneath bookcases or the couch, but anything that they can bat stuff under and then not reach completely under to pull stuff back out will work.

  4. gonna second dustin on the under couches and so forth, some kittens (and not just kittens) can be as bad as magpies when it comes to shiny.

    couple of years ago we looked after a pair of adult cats for a friend, we’re still looking for some of my wifes jewelery (and my wedding ring)

  5. Mine have a thing for straws.

    Preferably the one still in the cup of soda.

    Also, don’t forget the hole in the sofa, the hereditary migratory destination of all things necessary to existence, such as pocket knives, keys, Allen wrenches, and electric drill key chucks.

  6. More than a few Spydercos have walked slipped away from me. They are the only knife I like to carry. They know it and take liberties. Good luck apprehending your property. I hope you have serial numbers for all the important stuff.


  7. My kitten is the same way.
    If it is not nailed down, he considers it his personal toy.
    And if it is nailed down he does his darnedest to get it any way.

  8. Several years ago we cat-sat a friends kitties for the summer. Ludo was fond of shiny things and would abscond with them in a blink of an eye. I am still finding jewelry he’d hidden around the house 😛

  9. Kleptokitties . . . been there, done that. A former feline companion had a thing for the husband’s department-issued pager. It was chirping prey. A current kitty companion, a black maine coon type, has some crow DNA in her . . . shineys and sparklies are fair game and I still haven’t found all her hidey-spots.

    Do not get me started on KleptoFerrets . . .


  10. High Priest Thapegti-Thoth…

    Ya should oughta have named the new kitten Shiro, Tomokato-san…. 😉

  11. Under the bed, up near th headboard/wall.

    Bear’s cat, Bitey, hoards socks and keys there.

  12. I think you’re safe for now. When various firearm related items start disappearing, (ammo, magazines, small handguns) then you should start worrying.

  13. My two year old girlie cat grabs my class ring, loose rounds of pistol ammo, water bottle caps and whatever she can pick up in her teeth. Also, anything in a plastic bag. She doesn’t care what might be in the bag, she just wants to chew up the plastic.


  14. The Tux Two are also making determined attempts to hide the chihuahua’s food dish.
    Tell me animals can’t think.

  15. OTOH, what would kittehs need kniveses for? Kittehs HAS kniveses.

    (SparrowBane has started teething again. I’m not worried about pointy things, but he started trying to gnaw on my new “smart” phone…)

    Word: shisvd

  16. I did not know cat’s were kleptos.
    Who says blogs are a waste of time? I learn something everyday.

  17. Count your blessings. My cat not only spends astounding amounts of time rubbing her face on my boots, but will raid the medicine cabinet to present my toothbrush as a trophy. She also likes relocating pens.

  18. D.W. Drang said…

    OTOH, what would kittehs need kniveses for? Kittehs HAS kniveses.

    Ah, but if they take yours away you see….

  19. Heh. Spook, the cat who adopted us on All Hallows Eve (in Germany, no less), loved to steal my mother’s mini Swiss Army knife. And he’d move it from hiding place to hiding place to make it harder for her to get it back.

  20. LOL – Snowdon – our 15 lb Persian tom when I was little – used to steal the buckles off of my mom’s shoes. They were the sparkley detachable ones, but he never stole PAIRS of them, just one at a time.

    Mom swore that he did that deliberatly. If there’s a place that your kittens have made their “den”, check there first.

  21. Twigged to the term ‘pocket litter’.

    Is this common Law Enforcement parlance? I only ask because I use it regularly in a block of instruction I teach on Detainee Handling for the US Army.

    I always thought it was an MI term.

  22. “Pocket litter” is general slang that I heard way before either my military or law enforcement careers.

    I’m pretty sure I picked it up either from Dad or Grandad.

  23. “Pocket litter” is actually a term which found its start in espionage – definitely before WWII… If you were going to present yourself as being someone, you needed to have the right crap in your pockets, such as receipts, etc…

  24. (With apologies to G. Legman)

    A visitor to Las Vegas for a business conference meets one of the lovlier type of locals in the hotel bar. Drinks lead to conversation, conversation leads to them leaving for her place in the wee hours of the morning.

    The next day as he is dressing to go back to the hotel he has the awkward moment — offers her money, a “gift”.

    She is offended and says, “I’m NOT that kind of girl! However, if you have a pocket knife, I’d like that.”

    Surprised, he hands his jacknife to her. He is even more surprised when she opens a drawer and drops the knife in among HUNDREDS of others of all sizes and colors. He asks here what that is all about.

    She says, “Well, now I am young and attractive, and I can meet all the men I want. Someday, I’ll be older, less attractive, and, well, it is AMAZING what a boy will do for a jacknife!


  25. They are under the Stove, Washer, or Dryer.

    Alternatively try just under closet doors with enough clearance to pass the object in question.

    Cats play hockey when you’re not looking, and have a tendancy to lose the puck under stuff, you see.

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