Dear Mr Critter

When you are beating the stuffing out of the woman whom you swore before your God to love, honour and cherish, I’m sure that quoting musical lyrics is just as dramatic as all hell.

Unfortunately, I literally have scars older than you are, and screaming at me that you “wrote the book on pain” doesn’t impress me all that much. To the contrary, it tends to make you look a bit of a git.

I am willing to believe, however, that you can be taught. As a fer-instance, I’m betting that you don’t ever grab an officer’s shirt in the future.

Won’t be smacking anyone around with that arm for a while, I’ll wager. And — for the record — you do shriek like a little girl. Cry like one, too, come to think.



New Years

19 thoughts on “Dear Mr Critter”

  1. Bet you could fetch a fair amount for that dash cam footage.

    I'd put up a Jackson m'self…

  2. What I've give to have the little window into his mind, from just after he initiated sthe unfortunate grab until he landed onthe ground and started keening.

    I'd imagine it went: "Hah! Huh?" CRUNchK "Oh! Aieeeeeeeeeee>"

  3. The bit there with the foot in the belly looked like it might be a tad uncomfortable too.

  4. Heh. The mental picture makes me happy.
    I'm sure he was on the ground wondering what happened and why everything hurt.

  5. I taught a friends wife how to apply some simple arm bars. She's a special ed teacher and many of her students out weigh her by more than 30 pounds. It seems some of them get rather physical when excited. She's 5'1' and 105.

    She called after her first use. She frog marched the kid back to his seat and had no more problems for the rest of the year.

  6. I love it when they mistake age and the not very impressed with you look for an easy mark.
    Now that I'm pushing 50 and 100,000 miles on the odometer it occasionally happens.

  7. Glad you're OK!

    Wife beaters ought to be condemned to the galleys, in my opinion.

    Ulises from CA

  8. Leverage is your friend.

    I second Jay G's motion. Wait, which president is on a five again?

  9. I was taught that turn-about was fair play.

    Did he "turn-about?" 😀

  10. He may have written *A* book on pain, but he damned well didn't do it with that arm…=b

  11. Perhaps when he wrote the book on pain, it was from the viewpoint of experiencing it.

  12. I think we all missed an important piece of data here:

    Mr. Dawg,

    What, if any, are the appropriate lyrics to quote at a wife beater as you mechanically damage their ability to offend in the future?

  13. Dawg, you almost always bring a smile to my face.
    I'd like to see that bitchy twerp deal with real pain, like, say, having a leg that's about 25% stainless steel.

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