My brother Chris is a proto-gunnie. He has a couple of .22 rifles, a 4-inch .357 Ruger, and an 1899 Mauser; but guns are pretty much like the air he breathes — something he takes for granted and doesn’t really notice until you point out an interesting one.

Since he has a degree in Humanities, with a minor in History, “interesting” usually means an old gun, with an old military gun being a gold star. The 1899 Argentinian Mauser (which used to be mine) mentioned above is a prime example.

A couple of days ago, I got an outraged call from him asking if cops were actually allowed to commit felonies. A bit non-plussed, I stated that that was actually a bit of a sticky wicket,and could he point out the felony in question?

Turns out, he has discovered the ATF malfeasance in Project Gunrunner.


Anyhoo, I pointed out that he had a very good question, and one that I really couldn’t answer.

Today I discover that not only does he Get It, but that he dashed off a quote that will probably be showing up in .sig lines all over the Internet:

“Oh, and why is there a Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms anyway? That makes as much sense as having a Bureau of Coal, Petroleum and Citrus Fruit.”

Snerk. I’m so proud.


Mr President ...
What pen for fraudulating?

20 thoughts on “Snerk”

  1. Hey, in Iran they call it the Department to Promote Virtue and Prevent Vice.

    ATF I guess is easier to say than DPVPV.

  2. I remember back in the '90's when I was reading Time Magazine and somebody wrote to them and said, of ATF, "give 'em all the alcohol and tobacco they want; just don't give 'em any firearms."

  3. Or, even more to the point, "As much sense as a Bureau of Heroin, Cocaine, and Journalism."

  4. Love the quote! And for what it's worth, if a cop does something they're lawfully allowed to do in carrying out their duties, it's not a felony… even if it would've been if I'd done it.

  5. But coal is a Dangerous Substance–surely we need a bureau to carefully regulate it???


  6. What would he think about a Type 30 Arisaka?
    About the ATF…he is wise in the ways of the Force…you have trained him well.
    Also, that bit about the garden gnome cracks me up every time I see it.

  7. Right up there with Kim DuToits "Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms ought to be a convenience store not a government agency."
    Rey B

  8. Or they could call it the Bureau of Items that are heavily over-taxed and over-regulated.

    WV = natstyr

    What the future will be.

  9. 1891 or 1909 Argentine? There was no model 1899. There was a 1889 Belgian, which used the 7.65×53 cartridge the Argentines also used, but those are many hundreds of dollars…

  10. We ought to ban toasters too! For the children!

    Sounds like your brother is a prime candidate for a C&R license. Have you ever mentioned that to him?

  11. "It's for the children."

    If you go back 30 years and consider what all a lot of us grew up with and it's a wonder any of us are alive today. When I was a kid, a kid was more or less expected to have a wrist rocket and/or Red Ryder. I had both *and* I rode in the back of the pickup. Hey, it was cool at the time.

  12. Well, it does make sense to keep all of my favorite things in one place . . .

  13. But we do have a "Bureau of Coal, Petroleum and Citrus Fruit," albeit not in quite so many words.

    It's called the Environmental Protection Agency.

    But BCPCF would be a much better name, wouldn't it?

    –Wes S.

  14. I proposed the WITHDLDG Commission.

    *. That's" the where in the hell did lawdog go" commission. Two weeks plus and not a word. If he thinks the cons in the lock up are testy just because he wrote something in ballpoint, us readers are getting plain exasperated at his petulance in posting a new tale of life in Texas.

  15. "Oh, and why is there a Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms anyway? "

    For the same reason they used to call them "revenooooers" -money!

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