Sonnuva — !

Well, it seems my lungs felt left out of the other night’s performance.

I’ve not felt … right … since the Great Body Clear-Out of 2012, so I finally staggered out of bed and over to my witch-doctor.

You know, when Ye Olde Potion Pusher is listening to your chest and he stays at one spot for a looooong time — this is what us finely-trained law-enforcement types call “A Clue.”

When he steps out into the hall, closes the door, and then two more people come in to listen to your chest, it becomes time to raise a finger and say, “Oi, doc. Something I need to know about?”

One chest x-ray and one blood-work later, the nurse comes in and cheerily says, “Well, your A1c is 5.4. That’s some good news!”

I could have strangled her.

I’ve got a stomping case of aspiration pneumonia, most probably the result of something I’d rather not think about right now going a wee bit astray during the six hours of Wagnerian ‘Speaking to God On The Porcelain Phone’ from earlier in the week.

I’d never heard of Solu-Medrol before today, but it is apparently lovingly gathered from the fiery depths of Kilauea, gently mixed with extract of naga jolokia, and seasoned with just a pinch of thermite before being loaded into a hydraulic press and shot into my right bum cheek through a sewer pipe.

When the wee lass said, “There’s probably going to be a little burn” be aware that the little darling probably referred to the sinking of the Titanic as, “A little oopsie.”

Too right there’s a burn. The only thing that kept me from doggie-dragging my butt across the carpet on the way to the fire extinguisher was male ego — and that was losing the fight.


Two albuterol treatments later, some heavy-duty antibiotics, and I’m back to home. Thank various and sundry gods.

I’m going to find a bag of frozen peas and spend the rest of the day napping.



Now, that's a fairy tale!
Posted without further comment

26 thoughts on “Sonnuva — !”

  1. Solu-medrol is a fairly common steroid, also called methalprednisone. It burns like an SOB if it's administered IM (shot in the rear), but is much more tolerable if administered through an IV!

  2. "The only thing that kept me from doggie-dragging my butt across the carpet on the way to the fire extinguisher was male ego — and that was losing the fight."


  3. Dawg, watch out for your blood glucose for the next few days. That steroid they shot you with will jerk your levels high in most cases…way high!


  4. Made some naga jolokia-infused oil the other night to put on my fence to keep the raccoons away. Seems to have done the trick. But next time I make it, I'm telling the family to take a walk and borrowing someones respirator. Oowweee, darn stuff made my throat burn….

  5. Get better law dog and take care of yourself.

    And I second what Shane said. That line was hilarious.

  6. Oh man… You mean they used a BIGGER one than the military did??? Peas do help, kinda sorta… Get well soon sir!

  7. Dog, when you decide to take ill you don't do it by half measures.

    I'd send you some soup but the last time I tried something like that the mailman complained that the envelope made his bag smell.

    Get better.


  8. Hey, look on the bright side, buddy. If your lady tells you she likes your hot ass, for once, she really, really means it!


  9. Dog, I'm really sorry you are sick, but that was the funniest post I've read in a long while.
    You do have a gift of the words.

  10. 1. Second Skip.
    2. You have to continue putting yourself in intolerable situations so we can enjoy your commentary.
    3. OTOH, recover quickly and well.
    V/R JWest

  11. Lawdog, Firefighter4884 is correct, sorta. Take it from the friend of Gaffer Chronicles, that solumedrol- titrated- IV is sorta less butt-dragging and you don't want to kill the administrator. Y'all get well now. Le Conteur.

  12. Lawdog, your muse must love misery! That post, and your post of 1/16/2012 are two of the funniest since Pinkie sang "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap!"

    Seriously, here's praying that you recover completely and soon.

  13. I agree with Skip, very very sorry you are sick, it's sound just awful, but the way you write is hilarious!

  14. Note to self:

    If ever invited to Lawdog's house for dinner – decline the peas.

    Thanks for a good laugh.

  15. Bummer, dude!

    Seriously, pneumonia of any kind is nothing to take lightly. Ask Jim Henson. Oh.

    They really should have taken the time to start an IV and give the Solu-Medrol that way. IM dosing of a volume like that is barbaric and lazy.

    BTW, your A1C is very good, you're doing the right things to control your Diabetes. And that's important because diabetics heal more slowly from things like infections.

    Get better soon.

  16. Thread's first comment asked:

    Drang said…
    Square needle, or triangular?

    1:35 PM

    No amigo, the correct answer is barbed!

    Sunk New Dawn
    Galveston, TX

  17. Dude. You have GOT to publish your stuff. Seriously.

    Hope you feel better soon.

  18. I sympathize completely. My blood sugar has been good so I haven't needed insulin for the most parrt of the last month since getting out of the hospital for the prior 3 months & loosing over 100 pounds. One of their tests (non-painful) scans took me to 31 on a pain scale of 1-10 and left me a whimper heap of protoplasm on the gurney. Since I went back in on Friday, the witch doctors took out my infected temporary porta-cath already replaced twice since Thanksgiving and replaced it with a temopary trialysis line. They wew right. It lasted one day. They put another porta-cath back into my right shoulder in a different location from the first infected site. Right now I can't raise myself out of bed due to my shoulders. Norco is my best friend right now. I'm wondering where they got the hollowed out wood rasp they used for the catheter tip.

  19. LawDog,

    First, thank you for your blog. I have been reading and lurking for a few years now.

    I also wanted to thank you for giving me the biggest laugh in a long time with your last few posts. I have been quite sick with the flu for a few weeks, but I got an incredible endorphin boost from laughing so hard.

    I have had my problems with solu-medrol myself. I was in the hospital getting treatment for optic neuritis (turns out I have MS) and they were giving me injections every six hours. Well on my 5th shot, the nurse missed the vein and it went into the muscle. I screamed like some bimbo in a bad horror movie. The nurse told me to stop being such a wuss. I called the nursing supervisor and my doctor and told them the following:

    1. Get me the strongest painkiller you can and get it in me NOW!

    2. Find another nurse to take care of me.

    3. Is there another way that this stuff can be administered?

    Got an IV line put in and then my drugs were gently titrated in for the next three days. Much more pleasant and I wished they had done this from the start. I got my vision back within a week of treatment, so I was lucky. It still took about a week for my arm to completely feel normal.

    P.S. I hope you are well on the mend, and hope you will write a book soon. I would relish every page.

    Thanks again.

Comments are closed.