Apparently there’s a personal injury attorney in Tampa, Florida (who may or may not be named “Simon”) who has retained a spam-bot for the purposes of spamming the comments of blogs.
Found some of that spam in several comments here, point-of-fact.
Now, I’m not a big fan of defence attorneys, because over the past couple of decades they’re usually hinting broadly to twelve complete strangers that I’m a liar, incompetent, a lair, crooked, a lair, racist, a liar, poorly educated, a liar, misogynistic, a liar, sadistic and that I lie through my teeth.
On several occasions they weren’t hinting, and on at least one really memorable moment the tile-crawler hit most of the points above.
All the while knowing that not only was I not any of the above, but knowing for a fact that his client was guilty as hell.
Like I say — not a big fan.
However, our Republic needs defence attorneys for our system to work. And — truth be told — when they are maligning me to a jury and insulting me to my face on the witness stand, they’re just doing a necessary job; it’s not personal (most of the time); and (most of them) don’t really believe that I would violate my oath.
So, I will needle them on this blog, I will write elaborate comparisons to sharks and other creatures, but I do not indulge in elaborate fantasies involving a defence attorney, a dark alley, a wombat, a sack, and a jar of grease.
Personal injury attorneys, on the other paw …
… They’re the lawyers in “Lawyer-proof triggers”.
They’re the reason that my cup of coffee says, “WARNING: CONTENTS MAY BE HOT”.
The label on a go-kart that says, “CAUTION: THIS PRODUCT MOVES WHEN IN USE”? Personal-injury lawyers.
Neutered chemistry sets? Wimpy slides on playgrounds? “No Swimming” signs at the local watering hole? High dive platforms removed from the YMCA pool? Ban on rat-busting at the city dump? Proof-against-everyone-except-children pill bottle lids?
Thank a personal-injury lawyer — or the fear of one — for all of the above.
That feeling that the entire world wants to wrap you in bubble-wrap and only let you have stuff made from Nerf? Personal-injury lawyers.
Near as I can tell, personal-injury lawyers are primarily responsible for sky-high insurance rates, increasingly louder screams for tort-reform and the entire State of California.
“The officer used a blackjack against my client. If he had used an ASP, there wouldn’t be any need to sue.”
“The officer used an ASP baton against my client. If he had used OC spray, there wouldn’t be any need to sue.”
The officer used OC spray against my client. If he had used a TASER , there wouldn’t be any need to sue.”
“The officer TASER’d my client. We’re suing!”
Sweet haploid Judas on a crutch!
I’d like to put into print some of my fantasies involving personal-injury attorneys, particularly the one that makes the police psychologist back slowly out of the room … but someone named “Simon” in Tampa, Florida would probably sue me.
Spam-bot fail! Get off my blog!