I don’t work patrol anymore, haven’t in a while, truth be told.
These days I work in the Toadstomp County Jail as Semi-Important Knuckle-Dragger and First Assistant Bottle Washer … most of the time.
Since I work inside the secure perimeter with the inmates, there are rather strict rules about what I can take in there with me — any sort of weapon is a no-no, as well as anything that can be modified into a weapon: metal buckles on my duty belt, soft-drink cans, that sort of thing.
Guns are a definite no-no, as are knives, clubs, etc., etc.
While there are Less-Lethal tools on-site — OC spray and TASER — they are locked away, only to be brought out for certain situations and only by certain officers. Usually me. In addition, just about every part of the facility that it is legally possible to have video surveillance, has 24-hour/7-day recorded video monitoring.
In other words, the Toadstomp County Jail — and other similar facilities around the State of Texas and the United States as a whole — is pretty much just as close to the liberal dream of a total gun control Utopia as you can get.
No guns allowed, ever. No guns, no knives, no weapons. Full gun control. Period. Full stop. End of story.
I bring this up, because the tragedy in Aurora has brought the Usual Suspects out of the woodwork, circling on the metaphorical thermals as they grunt about the lack of gun control on TeeVee and hiss “common-sense gun-laws” all over the Internet.
I have this terrible urge to snatch up the next numpty whining about the lack of gun control and dump him in SHU for a couple of shifts.
Granted, the Toadstomp County Jail Special Housing Unit isn’t the gun control Mecca that, say, San Quentin or Pelican Island are, but one of my officers did get stabbed (non-fatally) with a golf pencil by an inmate in SHU some time ago.
He was stabbed by this inmate, as a point of fact, because he was “The kindest officer” on shift that day. My paw to Freyja, that quote is the absolute truth.
Alternatively, an hour or so in a 40-man Max pod could be instructive. Again, while our Max pods have the same stringent gun control as Attica Correctional or Angola, we’re not quite the Gun Control Paradise those places are. Only a hands-full or so of our inmates have needed medical care after inmate-on-inmate violence. This year.
So, I have to ask: if gun control is the panacea these folks think it is, why aren’t they clocking in to the safety, peace and quiet of a boring shift at Sing-Sing or ADX Florence? Complete and total gun control means those should be amongst the safest places in the world, right?