I seem to have confused a couple of Gentle Readers.
The posts that you see written in blue Courier font are cut-and-pastes from reports that I have sent to various worthies throughout my career. As you can see, the snark is not just limited to the scribblings on this blog.
“LO/LOP” is an abbreviation for “Lock-Off/Loss Of Privileges” which is basically disciplinary segregation. An inmate violates a rule and catches “LO/LOP”, we toss his butt into a solitary cell, no phone, no commissary, limited visitation, that sort of thing.
“Water-checks.” Inmates in a solitary cell sometimes can’t — or won’t — report having problems with the water faucet in the cell. Every night, an officer goes around and checks every tap in solitary to make sure that the inmate inside the cell has access to water.
“SHU.” Special Housing Unit. The formal term for Solitary. Sometimes also called Segregation.
“Ad/SEG.” Administrative SEGregation. An inmate who — for whatever reason — can’t get along in General Population, but hasn’t caught a case and wound up on LO/LOP. Protective Custody, MHMR patient, Escape Risk, amongst other reasons.
“TDC.” Actually supposed to be “TDCJ” — Texas Department of Criminal Justice”. The prison system for the State of Texas. Old-time officers remember when it was called the “Texas Department of Corrections”.
“Chain.” The trip to TDC from the County. The TDC bus is the “chain bus”; the trip is known as “catching chain”, so on and so forth.
“Jack.” The most handy and fluid word in a County inmate’s vocabulary. To “jack” is to succeed against another person, either by way of guile or by physical force.
“Hey, CO! Somebody jacked me for a soup!”
Translation: “Excuse me, Officer, but person or persons unknown appear to have stolen a food item from my property locker.”
“Fool! Rank ‘Dog just jacked Hernandez in front of his boys!”
Translation: “Comrade! Lieutenant LawDog has caused inmate Hernandez to lose face by removing Hernandez from his Housing Area in the presence of his compatriots after Hernandez stated that he would not move!”
“Boss! I don’t know, but word is that someone’s gonna jack Old Con in the shower tonight.”
Translation: “Officer! While neither I, nor my colleagues, are involved, we suspect that another inmate — one who is younger and Less Wise In the Ways Of The World — is planning to physically beat an elder in the bathing area this night.”
As happens, this useful word has found its way into the lexicon of the officers.
“Hey, sarge! 21 just jacked his beanhole.”
Translation: “Sergeant, the inmate in SHU/21 is preventing officers from securing the food pass slot in the door of his cell.”
“Taking a shower.” Alternatively, “Asleep in my rack.” In a Housing Area holding 24 inmates (and two showers) if you drag two inmates out of the tank for a bloody fight, when you ask the other twenty-two inmates what happened, all 22 will answer: “I don’t know, boss, I was taking a shower.”
That should cover some of the basics, I think.
LawDog
This is a fascinating look at the correctional system, done with your trademark humor, wit and intelligence. Keep on blogging about it–what seems old hat to you is quite interesting to us!
Thanks for explaining some of the shorthand!
Much appreciation.
BGM
I am the proud owner of a Smith $ Wesson 65-2 with a serial number starting with the letters TDC
WOO HOO!!!! Thank you 🙂 Can't wait to read more posts.
One other question… Smalls??? Colored smalls???
@ NFO – I do believe that smalls are a reference to skivvies. Colored smalls, would be colored skivvies, vice the tidy whities that came in standard boot camp issue.
sdb
@ NFO – I do believe that smalls are a reference to skivvies. Colored smalls, would be colored skivvies, vice the tidy whities that came in standard boot camp issue.
sdb
Ah… Thanks…
Here in Montana they slip in the Shower or Fall Down the Stairs or Fall out of bed (that one was not funny as the inmate who fell had ruptured their spleen and almost bled out.) One of the best is vertical push ups with two black eyes say hello to raccoon boy LOL but strangely with no broken nose.
I can haz moar daily reportses?
BGM
Wow – I don't check LD's blog for a couple weeks and he goes nuts. More, please.
So did he get demoted to prison guard, or what?
Hello LT L.D.
Glad to find you well.
Possibly I missed something somewhere- I understand all the jail-speak we are hearing is that you have assumed a command position in the Bugscuffle County S.O. Jail/Corrections Division?
No more feats of daring and hilarity on the streets from a member of Patrol Division? Or will we still get some on occasion?
Either way, I look forward to more of your writing.
Regards
GKT