Dear Jesse

Dear Jesse,

On my “Meditations on Monsters” post you have decided to leave a comment regarding my hypocrisy (I am apparently a “badge bully”, and “just as bad as the criminals”, and “happy that no-one is judging” me).

This is apparently based on a sentence in my “Well … that’s awkward” post, in which I somewhat poetically describe the application of a mandibular angle pressure point hold during a Use of Force.

What I didn’t put in that little post — because I was going for humour, rather than drama — was the description of the mass amounts of blood streaming from the four-inch laceration to the forehead of a somewhat-innocent third party that precipitated my being there.

I didn’t describe the minutes of trying to talk the person into dropping the shank — because I tend to go for humour on my blog.

I didn’t describe my snap-decision to rush the guy with the blood-covered shank when he was distracted — rather than wait until the SWAT team showed up and put a load of buckshot into his face — because folks (other than you) read my blog for the funny parts.

I didn’t describe the fear I felt when I realized that trainees and young officers assigned to my shift had followed my lead and jumped onto a mentally-disturbed, armed inmate — fear that I might get one of my people stabbed or worse following me.

I didn’t describe the jolt of terror I felt when the slick little bastard turned under me, and I lost my grip on his blood-covered blade arm.


I described the mandibular angle hold I used to convince that MHMR-strong, armed, blood-slick inmate to let go of his shank so he could be handcuffed, instead of killed, and used it as a humorous part of a funny tale.  A funny tale that I wrote — here on my blog — as my way of dealing with the stress of the job.

Because that’s what I do on my blog.

As far as you assertion that I am a monster — this I do not deny.  I am a monster from way further back than this law enforcement career.

However, I do tend to think that another post I wrote here — linked — should adequately describe how I feel about my monster-ness.  A pity you didn’t investigate — read my writings — further.

As I noted in your comment on the other thread:  your concerns as to my monster-ness are duly noted.



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32 thoughts on “Dear Jesse”

  1. As my dear old dad would say: Non-illegitemus carborundum (translation: Don't let the bastard wear you down).

  2. You Sir are my kind of monster.
    There will always be people who see things differently and take offense over innocuous things. Your response to the insult is wonderful.

  3. Love reading you LawDog – wish there could be more – I know; that's selfish.

    Re: this "critter," thank you for educating him – I could not do it as gently as you do.

  4. The point in your linked post about knowing your monster so you can contain him/her is vital. Critters have an uncanny ability to tap into your monster. Oddly enough, critters often don't care whether this is a good or bad thing for them because they just enjoy the control they obtain over you by unleashing the beast. In the end,though the critter may lose, so do you if you aren't aware of your monster and don't have it on a short leash.
    I cannot know whether the person criticizing you is just ignorant or trying to goad the beast. In any case, your response was classy and instructional.
    I can't wait to read your books.

  5. Any thinking person worthy of the description "decent" is fully aware of, and knows how to control the "monster", when to turn the "monster" loose under tight control, and when (VERY infrequently) to let the "monster" run free.

    I was taught at an early age by an Infantry veteran of the European campaigns (1944-45), and applied those lessons right through to this day. My "monster" is still there, still leashed, and still ready – and under my total control.

    A little frightening, really, knowing that I can go from smiling old Grandpa type to Full Monster in half a heartbeat.

  6. Thank god we have monsters like you. Keep on keepin on.

    Glad you exist….x

  7. Ahem. Lawdog,
    You are most assuredly NOT a monster.
    What you are is a PROTECTOR, who understands what real monsters are – and you have the strength, physical, mental, and spritual, to take monstrous abilities and harness those abilities to Stop Bad Things From Happening.
    Simple as that.
    This "Jesse," on the other hand, is an utterly worthless fool with no idea whatsoever of the talent and mindset required to protect decent human beings from real monsters.
    I don't know whether to feel sorry for this Jesse, or regard him as a contemptible bleeding-heart jackass.
    Thank you, Sir.


  8. It's all about 'control', obviously this jerk doesn't get it… Nor is he smart enough to read between the lines…

  9. 'Dog,
    Your love for people comes through in your writing.

    I keep writing more and deleting it. But that's really all I think needs to be said.

  10. Every post I have ever read of yours, I have assumed that much if not most of the story goes unsaid, for the reasons you gave. Furthermore, from what I know of you, I trust you, both in your integrity and in your discretion.

    I'm looking for work (again) and there are several postings up for local police positions. It's hardly been on my radar as an option for me, but the more I contemplate it, the more it seems, well, worth the contemplation. You and MattG are, in my mind, what LEOs should be, and what I would be attempting to emulate, should that be a path I take.

  11. I agree with the first 10 folks above. In my opinion, Jesse can go pound salt.
    You, sir, are a gentleman, as well as a great writer. Thank you for writing this blog so the rest of us can enjoy your writing. Keep it up and let us know when your book is done.

  12. Stillicho, I must respectfully disagree.
    I think the esteemed Lawdog understands fully well what sort of monster he has in him; that's why he is careful to keep in constrained.
    Some of us–and you may well be one of us–who have been trained to, and used, sanctioned violence in the service of a larger, lawful purpose have been frightened (to some degree) and amazed at our own capacity for, and efficiency at, the employment of it. I agree with our host that each of us has that monster in him-or-herself. The only difference is how much it takes to open the cage.
    I'm a naturally easygoing person; it's just how I'm wired. I'm doubly so because I know what I can do if I lose control. I wasn't always this way: in my youth, I was a very angry man, & barfighting was a pastime I enjoyed. That was neither sanctioned nor for a good purpose, and I wasn't particularly trained. The military taught me more about how, and more importantly taught me when it was permissible, to let the beast out–and, for the first time, on a rein. I'm surprised to this day that I never went to prison; some members of my family have, for enjoying(?) such pastimes.
    I truly, really can't understand that young man, nowadays, & I live in the same skull.
    Should I just say "to hell with it" & let the red curtain come down, so to speak, I don't know what I'd see when I could see clearly again. It's been a long time. I am certain that there'd be some of it I'd regret, and possibly lose my liberty over.
    Sorry for the long post, Ian, and it's just my $0.02, of course.
    –Tennessee Budd

  13. Tennessee Bud:
    Thank you for your insight, Sir. I appreciate it.


  14. Law Dog, Thankfully, I have not personally had the need to subdue any monsters (except for some school yard bullies). However, I have several friends an acquaintances who have worked in law enforcement, or served in the military, or both, and I understand what was not said in your description of events. I am eternally grateful that you and most of your brothers in arms are looking out for the rest of us.

    Old Geek, I too was taught well by a survivor of Uncle Sam's walking tour of Norther Europe '44 to '45 edition. I found this information useful when dealing with the afore mentioned bullies when more peaceable means of dissuading their nefarious actions failed. I have noticed that, bullies, whether people or countries, always seem to mistake a reasoned passive approach for cowardice or weakness and are stunned when the predictable response is a whack upside the head.

  15. Please Lawdog, stay unpunctured in your day job. You have aleast one book to finish.


  16. Oftentimes, people focus on the lack of mercy in what others do and forget that the alternative is even less merciful.

    Keep up the good work 'Dog.

  17. And you prove your worthiness of the title of HERO once again, LawDog. I wish everyone was as wise as you.

  18. It is good to have monsters who are willing to stand between us and other monsters.

    Since nobody else has mentioned it:
    "People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."

    I have often said that everyone has a monster in their closet, except that the monster is actually themselves, and the closet is in their brain.
    Some people have the door wide open. They do terrible things without a flicker of conscience. But they aren't the ones to watch out for.
    Others have the door shut and locked and barricaded, with a 'no monsters here' sign, and deny it's existence wholeheartedly. They spend every waking moment fretting that the monster will awaken, that someone will realize that they have a mo ster within them. They then are surprised when the monster bursts free anyway, with pent-up rage.
    Then you have the folks who keep that door open, just a crack. They are not troubled by the noises the monster makes, and they are also reassured when that darkness within them whispers 'I am here if you need me'. Because they know that should their monster be unleashed, it will later go back to it's closet of it's own accord for a nap.

    Thank you for the violence, you snaggle-toothed, cloven-hoofed, fire-breathing, hairy monster, you.

  19. There is always more to the story than many people are willing to realize. Thank you for giving a bit more of that one, but please stay safe! That was second hand terrifying. And that 'Jesse' critter can yes, pound salt.

  20. This little twit can go pound sand.
    I have been in your shoes as a Correctional Officer you do what you need to do to go home in one piece

  21. A pity I didn't read and investigate. Well, there you are, with all the answers again. If I were the omniscient one that knew that somewhere else on your blog you'd covered the matter, hell, I probably would have. Don't you suppose? Instead, I was ridiculous enough to read what you wrote, and figured that was all the story that there was to it. Now, you've just vented a great deal about how much else there was to the story. Fine, you get to pick and chose when to release the details that show what a fuzzy warm wonderful super guy you are. But, that ain't what I had to work with, and regardless of how much other info there is on you either on your blog, or on the internet, or where ever you might think it accessible common knowledge, you're just being a dick to think that any reader stumbling across a link to one of your stories has the responsibility to investigate further. Yeah, that'll happen. I went on what you had written. "" I wound up on top of a critter at the bottom of a pile of officers, and I am Doing Things That Hurt to the critter. After he's handcuffed, we "assist him in getting to his feet", a beautiful bruise blossoming at his jaw hinge where I have attempted to scratch the inside of his brain housing group with my thumb." If there was more you were supposed to add to that, then you failed. Not me, in somehow Sherlocking that there are more layers to your personality, and more about that perps actions that caused your behavior. So cool your jets, you weren't insulted, you were offered the view of someone who has no reason to kiss your ass like your long term fans and commentors. I just gave you the straight reaction. You can overblow your reaction, and obviously you did, and so have your fans, readers, sycophants, and commentors. Hell, I thought so little of the comment and observation I had completely forgotten all about it until someone popped over to my blog from yours I couldn't figure out what the hell the lawdogblog was. I'd forgotten completely a casual observation meant to give you a perspective from someone else looking in that give up that career path because of badge bully behavior in my co-workers. If you can't see the obvious of all that, it's not going to matter in the long run, now will it? Nope. Just go on ignoring those that don't see everything your way, and your tunnel vision won't ever have to widen the tiniest bit to accept that not everyone has your view of your actions, based on what you didn't write. ""badge bully", and "just as bad as the criminals", and "happy that no-one is judging" are all based on what you did write. Carry on

    1. Jesse, you're doubling down on your mistake and that makes you appear like an idiot.

      Most people are capable of apologizing when they are wrong. What's your excuse?

  22. as for Anonymous: This "Jesse," on the other hand, is a … blah blah blah . Learn some reading comprehension. If that every occurs, and sticks, re-read my original comment. Then man up and write a comment with your real name.

  23. Holy cow, Jesse, get some therapy! I am a fan, a reader, and an occasional commenter, (note the proper spelling of the noun form), but I am in no way a sycophant. I do consider myself a friend of the writer of this blog. You seem to be confused as to the actual role that officers of the law have in our society. I refer you to the Peelian Principles, and in particular number six:

    "Police use physical force to the extent necessary to secure observance of the law or to restore order only when the exercise of persuasion, advice and warning is found to be insufficient."

    You might want to read them all. LawDog is a private person; you have no right or claim to his identity. He is also, in my modestly informed opinion, an excellent example of what a officer of the law should strive to be. This from someone who actually knows him, as opposed to someone who forms an erroneous opinion based on two sentences taken out of context.

    As LD might say, nothing but love.


  24. Dear LD…
    You, Sir, are an Eagle…. don't let the Turkeys drag you down.
    You are also a Guardian, a Shepherd, a Protector who has — from time to time — been forced into situations wherein your personal monster had to come out and "play" with some critter's monster only to have said monster realize that you had unleashed your Monster. Barely. And sent their itty bitty wittle fuzzy monster crawling back into it's cave with it's tail between it's legs.
    Been there, done that and managed to somehow get it under control before I hospitalized someone.

    1. Like I said above: the secret is to keep that dark closet door open just a crack. To know that yes, the monster is there, to acknowledge that it is part of you. Then, should you ever need it, it will be there with you. And more importantly, it won't complain when you send it back.

  25. My two cents, for what they are worth, is that LawDog is a sheepdog. The individual he was dealing with in his story is a wolf. Wolves prey on all those around them, including each other. Sheepdogs have the same capabilities, but apply them differently. Sheepdogs may nip at your heels to drive you to safety, but they won't rip out your throat for no reason (a wolf will). As a former sheepdog myself, I enviously watch and salute all other sheepdogs, including LawDog, who is not only a sheepdog, but an excellent story teller as well.
    Jesse, I'm sorry you didn't take the time to read more of our gracious host's writing. You've missed out. You also come across as an angry, arrogant person who has a problem with projecting, among other things. If that is not your intent, which I hope it isn't, I'd recommend altering your approach.

  26. Oh. I read your blog for the funny parts … the parts which make me think of "Officer Friendly". (Not a jibe; just truth)

    I've missed you when you are away, and the only reason I don't read you every day is because I fear that you will decide to take a vacation again and I won't get to read you again.

    So I … sort of … read you every week or two, and laugh with relief to learn once again that You're Still There!

    This is a goodness thing. As I regain assurance (sort of like a lost child who can't quite grasp that her parents are still there), I'll feel more comfortable with leaning on you for my daily grasp of The Other Side.

    Keep up the noble effort. In your often silly ways, you have done more to depict LEOs as "real People" with more of a sense of humor than the difficult job would lead one to hope for.

    "If We Can't Laugh, We Would All Go Insane."

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