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Hair stabbies

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Herself has been teaching courses at a Liberal Arts university in near-by Little Big City, and despite being in Texas, the university is rather Non-Permissive when it comes to defending yourself.

Big on “Thoughts, Prayers, and Action Committees”, short on anything — you know — effective.

So, when I heard that our friend Ben over at Bjorn Bladeworks was making a run of his Murder Needles, I ordered a set in Jade for her.

These little jewels are fairly simple:  about 3/4 of an ounce of G10, about 9 inches in length, and a diamond cross-section about half an inch thick at its widest.

And the narrow end ground to the wickedest little needle point you can put on a stick of high-pressure fibreglass and resin composite.

The execution is simple elegance:  it goes in your hair. Unless you’re Toshiro Mifune (and he doesn’t need a hair stabbie), this limits it somewhat to the distaff side of the species — and I’m okay with this.

For those who aren’t familiar with it, G10 is a material used in knife and pistol grips for decades.  It is high-strength (for a fibreglass/resin laminate) and doesn’t absorb moisture, or — important here — hair oil.

Hair sticks are used by the ladies to hold and/or decorate hairbuns, pony-tails, and other hair-dos, and go completely unnoticed by 99% of everyone. I guarantee you’ve walked by a woman with pencils, knitting needles, pens, dowel rods, or stainless-steel straws stuck through a bun — and never gave it a second thought.

Yes, LawDog, but how does it work?

Well, I’m glad you asked. When I ordered the ones for Herself, Ben contacted me and asked if I would like one for testing? 

Hell, yes.

So.

In my backyard is a heavy bag that I’ve modified over the years. Currently the inside is a couple of rolls of carpet, a metric butt-ton of sand, and a polymer centre core. I wandered out there, and under the supervision of Chuy the Wonder Chiweenie, gave it a flat-footed WTF? stab:

Five inches.

Rather impressed, I gave it a full fencing lunge:

Turns out the polymer core in my heavy bag is about 7 inches in.

Deep breath, and I went full Monkey With A Screwdriver:

Not sure how deep I went during the cycles, but I hit my thumb and index knuckles on the bag most of the time, so 4 – 6 inches?

Yes. These will do nicely.

Now, don’t get me wrong — these are last-ditch, one-incident-use tools for places where the Light Of Your Life isn’t allowed to carry anything more substantial. 

Are they as good as a real knife or a firearm? Of course not, but they’re a damned sight better than fingernails and harsh language.

By “One-incident-use tools” I mean exactly that. If your Best Beloved has to pin-cushion Joe Critter or Abdul the Moderately Rabid, these little darlings are going to wind up in a evidence bag, an Operating Room floor, or the rubbish bin.

They’re $30, plus shipping. If the surgeon winds up pulling her old ones out of her Personal Chew Toy, buy her another set. Ben’s email (if you don’t like Facebook) is:

bjornbladeworks@gmail.com

These little jewels get the LawDog Paw of Approval.

LawDog

Edit:

Ben has asked me to post a link to the FaceBook Murderneedles page.

LawDog

Edit 2: 

Blogger borked the photos. Should be working now.

LawDog

Requiescat in pace.
Brain-cramp Wednesday

30 thoughts on “Hair stabbies”

  2. Ooh! Great test! I am looking forward to my set. As a side note, years ago i was flying, and as i passed through the security checkpoint, i indicated the hardened, sharpened teak hair sticks I was wearing back in my bun. “Are these ok to fly with?” Quick glance from security officer. “Oh, sure, those are fine.”

    All righty then. Yeah, they are single use. But as I cannot carry a force multiplier at work (and it’s not a university, this is sadly common) I do what I can.

    I have writen a story with a female assassin who used a hairstick. I suspect it is quite possible, especially in a vulnerable position.

  3. If I had enough hair to use hair sticks I would rock these. (Currently chin length but even when it’s long it’s so fine that everything just falls out if I try the hair stick thing.)

    1. Have you tried putting it up while still damp? That's always made a real difference for me and I don't spend the rest of the day fixing things.

    2. I have thin, very fine hair that’s about collarbone length. I put my hair in a bunch with Spiral pins and then use the sticks for extra hold.

    3. You may find these work well with very fine hair as they *do not slip.* My hair is also fine, and much thinner than in its glory days, but with a slightly shorter length of needle, they hold quite well.

  4. Yay! My husband ordered some for me yesterday and reached out for one to test with as well. He plans to test it in our ballistic gelatin. Now I'm excited to see the results.

  6. I've tried three browsers, adblock on and off, and I cannot see the images in this post. Help?

  7. …but I can see the images in all of your other posts. Foxes…so many foxes…

    1. Her “consequences” were NOT unintended. She was a woman to ride the range with.

  9. @Baelzar, I am having the same issue. The photos [in this post] are not showing up for me no matter what I try. Various browsers (Chrome, Edge, Opera), cleared cache, RSS feed, adblockers disabled signing into google, inspecting page code for the url (gives a long HTML code but no file extension (.jpg, .png, etc.)… nojoy.

  10. For the males: I took out a mugger at the university I attended with a copy of _The Globe Illustrated Shakespeare_ — and not the school-type edition; I'm talking "leather covers with gold embossing, weight about 10 lbs."

    "Gimme yer –"
    [*WHAM*!]

    (I think I backed over him with my truck as I left; he was still there when the campus cops turned up in the morning — and this was in November in the Midwest.)

  11. Wife and I call those hair pins et al "Eye Poking Sticks" as when doing a hug with a shorter person with said EPSs installed correctly, the taller person can poke his eye out with that. Kid.

    Hair and hat pins have been a classic part of a woman's wardrobe for a veeeery long time.

  13. Have a pair I got over a decade ago when I had to fly places. Porcupine quills. Allow me to advise users to be careful inserting them into twirled up hair. I have occasionally stuck myself when not utilizing appropriate care. I don't know if they got over it, but the last few times I flew- theater majors (TSA) made me take my hair down so they could feel it. That was creepy as heck. And one of several reasons I don't fly anymore.

  14. Awesome!! My hair needs to get a little longer before I can go back to using hair sticks. I like that they can be decorated with charms, too.

  15. Cool! Too bad my daughters and I all rock short hair. I will pass along the concept to other family though with more hair…

  16. For our side of the fence I've carried a Pentel P205 pencil for decades. Not quite as long but still useful for stabbing.

  19. Don't know about Texas, but in California, carrying a concealed dirk or dagger is illegal. So make sure to wear it clearly visible in your hair. Don't keep it in a pocket or purse.

    And now that you've visited this site, you can't claim you didn't know it was a stabbing weapon.

    1. It’s not a stabbing weapon. It’s a high durability hair pin. “Stabbing” is an off-brand, non-prescription use, and to suggest otherwise would reveal the person to be a sexist, patriarchal, supremacist of questionable parentage, and very little brain (apologies to Pooh Bear.)

  21. I have more than 6 sets. I adore them shorter. I have thin but tons of hair and holds them great.

  22. G10 is the fiberglass material used in most electronics circuit boards, but probably without the fire retardant.

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