In January, Herself and I went to Marscon and had a glorious time. Unfortunately on the way home I got TSA’d.
For years I have carried one of Benchmade’s original mini-Griptilian pocket knives with the oval thumbhole — and by “years” I mean 20 or so.
In the past when we’ve flown to conventions, I have been careful to put the mini-Grip in the checked baggage, but this time I had an oopsie — I’m blaming the stress of the trial — and when I was emptying my pockets at the TSA checkpoint in Norfolk, I discovered that I still had the pocket knife clipped to my pocket.
If I’m wearing pants I’ve got a pocketknife clipped to the pocket. It’s a long-standing, and quite unconscious, habit. And this time it bit me on the butt.
When I found the knife, I smiled rather apologetically at the blue-shirted TSA broad staring at me like I was a particularly unpleasant microscope specimen, and said, “I’m sorry, but I still have my pocketknife. May I have a mailer, please?”
Her response? “You can surrender it, or you can exit the secure area.”
Well, there was a bit of back-and-forth regarding what I could do with the knife, vis-a-vis what rules the TSA was supposed to be following, and ended with me saying something incredibly rude to her, as I threw my favourite knife into a nearby garbage bin.
So. Blog fodder!
You are now in a position which requires air-travel. Yay for you! Unfortunately it’s inside the United States, with the attendant Security Theatre of the Transportation Security Administration. Boo!
(For the record: The TSA does not do one single blessed thing to make transportation any more “secure”. It does, however, excel at making transportation as much of a pain in the tuchus as is bureaucratically possible.)
First — and probably the most important thing you should take away from this — get a dedicated carry-on bag. This bag should ONLY be used for airline travel; and should be completely emptied and stowed away as soon as you have arrived back at your home.
This is entirely due to the horror stories I have heard from friends and fans who have tossed some clothes into their range bag, and gotten busted by the Blue Shirted Goons at the aeroport with stray ammunition rolling around the bottom of the range bag.
Or worse, that pistol you took to the range and forgot was in the bag.
Also fun is when Bowser alerts on the smell of nitrates left over from shooting. Hello, Unwanted Attention!
So, you have a dedicated carry-on bag that you verify is empty before you start packing; and that you verify is completely empty when you stow it away after you are home when the trip is done.
Second, if you are like me and you would sooner venture forth naked than without a pocketknife — get something inexpensive that you won’t mind (too much) if you have a braincramp and wander into the “secure” area and wind up with a TSA goon stealing it have to surrender it to the TSA functionary.
I actually have a little Chinesium locking folder that 5.11 sent me as lagniappe when I made a big order. It has a decent, less than three-inch blade, and I won’t care if I have to bin it. I just forgot the damned thing during my packing.
Second, part 2: if you’re also like me and you habitually carry a flashlight in your pocket, Streamlight has a fantastic little AAA light called the “Microstream” that lists on Amazon for about 17 USD, so if it gets “eaten” by the gremlins in the luggage scanner you’re only out a $20, and not your high-end expensive pocket torch.
Bulletpoint, the Third. Make a checklist. Preferably, make it well before you actually have to start packing. On this checklist, item #1 should be: Make Sure Carry-On Bag Is Empty, And Does Not Have Ammunition Or BangSticks In It. Item #2 should say: Put Good Knife And Light In Safe; Get Burner Knife and Light.
The rest of the checklist should have those things that you need — charger, dopp kit with hygiene and first aid, that sort of thing.
Hope that helps.
LawDog
postscript: Oh, just to give you the warm fuzzies:
LawDog
