Take:

2 ounces gin
5 ounces tonic water
Ice
Lime.

Put your ice in a highball glass, and squeeze in some lime. Add the gin, I prefer Plymouth, but New Amsterdam was all I could find. 

Gently pour in your tonic water — you don’t want to lose too much of the fizz. I like Fever-Tree’s Premium Indian, but any good one will do. 

Squeeze in some more lime (Gunsmith Joe recommends “double the amount of lime you think should be in there”), and sip on your front porch while glaring at the neighbors and wondering if they have a flag.

LawDog

… You scrofulous ball of suck and misery.

By way of Gunsmith Joe we have discovered a new summer cocktail.

Take:

1 oz of bourbon
3 ozs of ginger ale
Squirt of lime juice.

Pour the above over ice, and sip inside, under air-conditioning, like a civilised human being.

LawDog

Take:

2 parts sparkling plonk
1.5 parts elderflower liqueur
2 parts fizzy water
Crushed ice to satisfaction

We use Verdi Spumante for the cheap booze, St. Germain liqueur, Topo Chico fizzy, and Sonic’s finest crushed ice.

Fill your glass with the ice, add the rest, stir lightly.

Voila! Summer cocktail.

LawDog