*ring, ring* “Unknown Number”

Oh, what the hell. “Hello?”

“Hello, sir. First, I must tell you that this is not a sales call.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Do you mind answering some questions?”

“Depends. Do you mind hearing the answers?”

“All right, sir. Do you agree that solar power is necessary for green energy independence in Texas? Yes, or no response, please.”

“No. Solar is stupid. If you want green energy, start pushing for more nuke reactors.”

“Yes, sir. How liable are you to install solar panels on your residence?”

“I’m not. Solar is stupid. Nuclear power or bust.”

“Yes, sir. If I were to tell you that there are government programs that will off-set the cost of solar panel installation, would that change your mind?”

“Buddy, I realize that you’re working from a script, but if you don’t engage your brain, folks are going to think that you’re retarded.”

“…”

“…”

“I haven’t had my coffee yet.”

“I can tell. Any other questions that I can answer by telling you that solar is stupid?”

“No, sir. You have a good day.”

“You, too. Go get some coffee.”