Damned philistines. Have they no manners?


Foiled Burglar Sues Store Employees for ‘Emotional Distress’
Saturday, June 10, 2006

— A man who was beaten by employees of a store he was trying to rob is now suing.
Police say Dana Buckman entered the AutoZone in Rochester, New York, last July, brandished a semi-automatic pistol and demanded cash.

That’s when employees Eli Crespo and Jerry Vega beat him with a pipe and held Buckman at bay with his own gun.

Buckman escaped when they retreated into the store to call 911, but he was arrested a week later. He pleaded guilty to first-degree robbery and was sentenced to 18 years in prison as a repeat violent felon.

Now Buckman is suing the auto parts store and the two employees who beat him, claiming they committed assault and battery and intentionally inflicted emotional distress.

You know, it seems to me that when Critter Buckman woke up that morning, there were roughly a thousand things he could have decided to do that didn’t involve a crime. He could have gone job-hunting. He could have gone for a walk. There were umpteen squillion things he could have done that didn’t involve planning to commit a crime, but no, he had his heart set on criminal endeavors.

Once he decided to break the law, he could have done any number of crimes that weren’t felonies. Misdemeanor theft, scams, lottery fraud, or anything else that isn’t a felony.

But, no, it was a felony or nothing.

So, he woke up that morning and decided — all on his onesie — to commit a crime. Not just any crime, but a felony. Then he decided that he just had to use a gun for this. After some thought, he decided he wanted to rob a store.

Not just any store, mind you, but that very store.

Once he walked into the store, he could have, at any time, decided to seek the straight-and-narrow path and walked out without doing the felony.

No. After all those decisions — any one of which would have left him unbruised — he decided to make one last choice, pull the gun and attempt to rob the store.

Now, it seems to me that if a man makes several thousand decisions that ultimately and invariably lead to a bad end; and that man devotes some hours of the day to making those thousand decisions (that lead to a bad end) — then it strikes me that that man has worked hard for that bad end, and far be it from anyone else to interfere.

He worked hard for that ass-whipping, he earned that ass-whipping and I surely do think he ought to shut his mouth, sit in his cell and suck it up.


Gut-check time.

5 thoughts on “Damned philistines. Have they no manners?”

  1. What a shame – why beat him and incur all that paperwork when just shooting the waste of space would have been better for all concerned, probably for the offender to. Having failed to successfully navigate a whole slew of possibilities, our subject still manages to land himself in the proverbial.

  2. There are at least two more Attitude Adjustments to be done here….

    First, and foremost, the dirtbag attorney that is representing this choirboy’s suit. A Grade A buttwhipping first, then disbar his ass for barratry…

    If the case has made it to a judge, then Hizzoner is second on the list if he doesn’t dismiss the case with prejudice AND require the plaintiff’s attorney pay the defendent’s legal fees……

  3. My mother once had a good friend tell her:

    “If someone breaks into your house, shoot them. Ask their name. If they answer, shoot them again.”

    I’m thinking that would have been good advice for the two defendents.

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