Daddy’s little murder machine

One of the best ratting dogs I’ve ever had was a chihuahua/toy poodle mix named Sally. That little dog treated small vermin like an adorable, furry little tornado treats a single-wide trailer.

And, of course, I’ve written at least once about Buster on these pages, so you’d think that the hunting ability of chihuahuas and chihuahua mixes wouldn’t be anything of a surprise.

Chuy is a dachshund/chihuahua cross — a “chiweenie” — and — as such, is not a real big dog. Solid, yes, but not much more than a lap-full.

He and Praline get the same amount of food every morning, the same amount of food that they’ve gotten every morning since they achieved their full growth, but while Praline’s weight stays the same, Chuy had been getting … bigger.

When he broke twenty pounds, we were starting to get a bit worried that maybe there were some health issues. Thyroid, maybe.

As a co-inky-dink, about the same time, I noticed piles of feathers in the back-yard. Several pigeons, a mocker or two, and several blue jays, amongst others not readily identifiable. At least one pile every other day, sometimes several in a day.

I know what you’re thinking, but Praline isn’t all that interested in birds — not when there are skwirlz that need attending to — so I figured that since the town busy-bodies had managed to get the entire place declared a Bird Sanctuary (Absolutely No Killing Of Birds! Ever! Even if they crap EVERYWHERE! Verboten!) some enterprising hawk, owl or other predatory avian had staked the neighborhood as it’s personal hunting ground.


I had let the pups out to do the needful, and since I had just brewed a fresh cuppa, I was watching them through the kitchen window, not thinking of much.

Praline was up in the pecan tree daring the skwirlz to come down and fight — as is her wont — but Chuy was laying on the deck that surrounds the pecan tree, chin on his paws, and looking so totally knackered that I was actually a bit worried that he was sick.

And then …

… I noticed that a blue jay had landed in the yard, and was bouncing here and there, looking for goodies.

Chuy came off the deck like he had an ejection seat under his furry little butt, impacted the bird square amidships and the two of them cartwheeled across the lawn in a tangle of ginger fur, blue feathers, and cursing.

This was apparently such a common occurrence that Praline looked down from her tree, cocked an ear at the full-on brawl not ten feet away, and promptly went right back to opining at the top of her lungs vis à vis the ancestry, personal habits and sexual proclivities of the local tree rats.

The donnybrook ended with Chuy spinning in a backwards circle, shaking his head so fast that the — probably extremely dead — bird was nothing more than a blur amid a cloud of feathers, then he trotted off to his man-cave under the Morgan building with his ears and tail at jaunty angles, and the now-mostly-plucked bird hanging limp from his jaws.


I’m torn. Half of me hopes that the local busy-bodies don’t find out that he’s supplementing his diet with their precious poo factories birdies, and half of me really, really wants to send them a note of thanks and appreciation signed with a bloody paw-print.


Dragon Leatherworks
Kith and kin

26 thoughts on “Daddy’s little murder machine”

  1. I'm voting for the letter of gratitude from Chuy.

    Chuiweenie? I thought Basset/Beagles made some long/short mixes.

    Not the size of dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.


  2. Now, if you could arrange for him to do that to a couple of turkeys prior to Thanksgiving . . .


    WV – innuraz – Chuy's reaction to birds?

    😉 😉

  3. If the busy bodies complain, tell them that Chuy is simply making sure there are nothing but fast birds that will survive the other predators in the neighborhood.

    My cats are pretty good birders and the numbers of song birds have gone up. Very FAST song birds I might add 😀

  4. Get some, Chuey!

    LD, if you have another Buster story put back somewhere, I would love to read it on your blod sometimw

  5. Yep, letter of gratitude 🙂 I'd pay MONEY to see that one delivered…LOL

  6. The only thing wrong with this story is that Chihuahuas are not dogs; they are the result of genetic experimentation by escaped NAZI scientists in Argentina. They crossed a rat with a Piranha and came up with a bloodthirsty monster that weighed about a pound and a half.

    1. actually, they are Aztec battle dogs. The Aztecs would release them hundreds at a time to bite the ankles off their enemies…..


  7. Does he work on grackles?

    Upon being questioned about grackles given their protected status –migratory non-game birds– a crusty old Texas game warden is reputed to have pointed out that it's permissible to kill such birds to prevent predation…. "And I ain't never seen a grackle that wasn't predatin' something."

  8. HA HA

    An excellent couterpoint to the lovely lady's regular posts about how cute and cuddly the pwetty wittle doggies are…

    Was Chuy wearing one of those dog sweaters? That would be perfect.

  9. Geez, how can I get me one of those? I've always been a fan of the smaller "house dog" and never had one that could tackle a bird.

  10. I'll have to teach that trick to my Ridgeback.

    She's got the basic stalking idea correctly, and can levitate from "down" to about 6ft, and change, altitude. (The latter is somewhat alarming in a just sub 90lb dog.)

    Now we have to combine the ideas and the local squirrels will have to show greater respect. They've already had a couple of "had to retract tail from her mouth" close calls at her crazy powerful acceleration.

  11. Dear Local Busy Bodies,

    Send more Blue Jays. The last ones were delicious.



  12. You have citified birds…. always wandering about in Condition White looking for a handout…..

  13. Awesome.

    I'd say, if he can move fast enough to take birds, his weight ain't no problem.

    Daschunds are the only small dogs I like.

  14. Gotta love the little dogs, they're huge in their hearts, (and minds generally) and so entertaining! Go Chuy!

  15. My granfather claimed that blue jays in his yard had "heart attacks."

    My parents told my husband all blue jays and mourning doves are fair game for shooting practice.

    Chuy needs to teach Pudgy Puppy a thing or two…

  16. YOu should open up a poll! I'd vote for the bloody paw print!

    Merry Christmas!


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