A little while ago, Herself and I were driving past one of those obnoxious housing developments which are springing up all over North Texas like particularly oiksome fungi, saw an “Open House” sign, and decided, “Oh, what the hell. Why not?” And took a look around.
They were something called “Zero Lot Homes”, and I’m here to tell you — I’m not impressed.
The interior design is not all that bad, matter of fact there were a couple of ideas that I like, but the exterior …
I’m not a big fan of being in the hip pocket of the neighbors on either side. Both of them were way too close for my personal comfort. And where the hell are you supposed to put a kitchen garden? The standard plan had no room out front, and barely enough room out back for a tomato plant if you wanted your dog to have running room.
The model with the pool was worse.
And why are modern homes allergic to front porches? I mean — I don’t mind having a long, narrow chokepoint leading to my front door, (other people might get twitchy the first time it’s used), but front porches are infinitely handy things. We sit on ours, use it for short-term storage, entertain guests (especially the ones who smoke), and hand out candy on Hallowe’en. It’s a great place to stage before going out into a rain- or snow-storm; and a good place to shake off your umbrella or wellingtons.
If people are getting so anti-social that front porches aren’t a good idea, I’m thinking putting the houses so close together isn’t a good idea, either.
Oh, and as someone who’s slightly familiar with land — someone needs to teach these California developers exactly how much land a “1/2 acre” is. Those might have been quarter-acre lots, but I wouldn’t bet the lunch money on that.
Sigh. This is why I’ll never be a “trend-setter”.