All posts by LawDog

She got a hate review!

Rita has her first two-star hate review!

“This is an adequate story about an English familiar traveling to meet a new master in Texas. Then commences a story of small town life, with its joys, sorrows, and troubles. Unfortunately, the author hamfistedly shoves Leftist dogma into the story throughout. This was written not to tell a story, although it does do that. This was written to push an agenda.”

Oh, wow. Snerk.


London Bridge is down

Farewell, Elizabeth Alexandra.

You didn’t want to be Queen, but when it got dumped into your lap you did your best. You did your duty, and you held to your honour — and that’s all that anyone could ask.

In a time when politicians change faster than diapers — and usually for the same reason — you were a 70-year stabilizing influence on the United Kingdom, and on the West. Indeed, for the majority of the world you have been The Queen for the span of their lives.

I hope that Phillip grins at you when you walk in, and you get to be that housewife on a little island again.

Requiescat in pace, Elizabeth Regina. Walk in beauty.



Got up way too early this morning, staggered into the kitchen and flipped the switch on the electric kettle.

A fan of the livestream sent us some coffee, and two tablespoons of Outpost Coffee Company‘s LawMan blend went into the Melitta pour-over.

One packet of Splenda Monkfruit, and another of Splenda Truvia into my favourite mug, and I poured water over the grounds while the dogs ate their brekkie; added a dollop of evaporated milk, and sat on the back steps, sipping coffee and watching the sun rise while the dogs did their business.

It’s been a rough two years — and will continue to be so for a little while longer — but, you know what?

It’s going to be okay.

Y’all have a good weekend, spend time with loved ones, watch the sun rise (or set), smell the flowers, drink something that tastes good, read something that you enjoy, pull out a hobby that you haven’t done for a while, and just recharge your soul.

It’s going to be okay.


What to expect

Okay, you have submitted a story to Raconteur Press. What should you expect?

Well, first off — a contract. For general anthologies we will have sole right to your story for a year from date of publication. After a year, rights will revert to you. Royalties will be paid as long as the book makes enough money to make payments worth it, so while your rights will come back after a year, you will receive payments for longer than that.

For anthologies in the Fuzzy Yeet Cow Universe, that world is mine, so I’ll be hanging onto the rights for any stories we publish in that universe. Payments will be the same as above, though.

You will need an account with PubShare— the free one will do fine, you don’t need the professional version. PubShare is how you will you will be getting paid, and — this is very important to me — will handle your tax documents. Yes, welcome to authorhood, the IRS is at the head of the line with their hands out.

When you create your account, they will ask how you want to get paid — this is important. There are two different ways to get paid. One is via PayPal, and is disbursed on the first business day of the month on Amazon’s payment schedule. The second is a paper cheque mailed to you each quarter. If you don’t specifically activate a payment method, PubShare will hang onto your payments until you do go in and specify. If you forget for three months, that’s nice chunk of change, but I sure could have used it earlier.

Once you have your contract, and you have a PubShare account, log into your PubShare dashboard, click on Bookshelf, and look for the book you have a contract for. On that book, to the right under ‘Actions’ you will see ‘Participants’. click on ‘Participants’, look for your name/pseudonym, and approve your story.

Until everyone approves their submissions to the book, we’re stalled, so this is a fairly important step.

Once that’s done you can follow the progress of publishing, see book reports, sales reports, and royalty reports; and order author copies — all from Pubshare.

After the book goes live, remember to claim the book on your Amazon Author Account — yes, you can claim an anthology, too.


Submission Guidelines

Short story submissions to Raconteur Press should take the form of the following:

5,000 to 8,000 words

.docx or similar widely available file. Since both Google Docs and Open Office will save to a .docx format, just go with .docx. No .pdf, please — trying to open and read a .pdf document on my Android phone is an exercise in frustration. And no .rtf — the headaches trying to convert .rtf to something that we can submit to Amazon are legendary.

When you email it to us, please put the name of the anthology it is for in the subject line of the email, or the body of the email. The start of your document should have a title and your name — Ms Cleo stopped answering my calls a long time ago, and me guessing as to what your name is about 0 for 4 at this point.

Most importantly: it must be entertaining. Length, genre, and everything else is negotiable for an entertaining story.

Currently submissions should be made to:



Upcoming Anthology Timetable

Okay, let’s see here:

Saints of Malta:

Submissions are now open, with a closing date NLT 01 NOV 22. Tentative launch of 26 DEC 22.

Space Cowboys:

Submissions open 15 SEP 22; closing date NLT 01 DEC 22. Tentative launch of 24 FEB 23.

Space Marine #1:

Submissions open 15 OCT 22; closing date NLT 31 DEC 22. Tentative launch of 28 APR 23.

Pin-Up Noir:

Submissions open 15 NOV 22; closing date NLT 01 JAN 23. Tentative launch of 23 JUN 23.

Fluffy Yeet Cow Space Marines:

Submissions open 15 DEC 22; closing date NLT 01 APR 23. Tentative launch of 29 SEP 23.

Space Marine #2:

Submissions open 15 JAN 23; closing date NLT 01 JUN 23. Tentative launch of 10 NOV 23.