Time for Le Grand Volant*

*The Great Flounce. (I have no idea of that’s accurate French — I used Google Translate.)

We have a massive influx of new Gentle Readers, and while I know that most of them are drive-by commentators, some will stick around. Of the ones who stick around, a small minority of them will suddenly figure out that I’m not who they thought I was based on one article (or two, I over-achieved this time), will post comments calling me a [Insert Group Someone Doesn’t Like Here] before flouncing angrily.

So, let’s go ahead and get that out of the way, shall we?

I’m LawDog, your host. I am American by birth — both of my parents were American citizens — and just happened to be born overseas. My father was an oil engineer, so I was raised in Africa and the Middle East by my parents and a large number of ex-pat petroleum and military types.

I am a dilettante in the study of History, did a brief stint in the U.S. military, and recently retired from 20+ years in Texas law enforcement. Those three things mean that I believe that any interactions between people are complex on multiple levels,  any attempt to boil social issues down to a simple bumper sticker is incorrect, and leads to more issues than it sought to correct.

TL;DR: My opinions on hot-button social and political topics are complicated, and tend to annoy people on both sides. You’ve been warned.

I am massively cynical towards politics, government, and the actions of large groups of people; and romantic enough to believe in the innate goodness of individual human beings.

For this reason I don’t discuss religion here — although fanaticism is fair game. Abortion falls under the ‘religion’ category, and my stance on that subject is simple: It is way too complicated, morally and ethically; and so as long as my DNA or my money isn’t involved I don’t have an opinion. Now, if my money is involved, then I figure you just paid for my opinion — and you probably don’t want that. And that’s as much discussion as we will have on that matter.

See? Told you that I tend to annoy both sides.

I believe that Washington DC should be limited to the grounds of the White House, the grounds of the Capitol and the Supreme Court, and the National Mall, along with the actual thoroughway of the streets directly connecting all of the above. All other land in that wretched hive of scum and villainy should be immediately returned to the States who donated the land to begin with.

I believe that no lawyer should be allowed within 500 nautical miles of the nation’s capitol; that we the people have been (and still are) investing Way Too Much power in an imperial Presidency, and that we should knock that bushwa off. I also believe that Congress has been abdicating too much of their responsibility to the Supreme Court, and likewise should knock it off.

I remain convinced that the second greatest indictment of the American educational system is the simple fact that the average high school graduate is incapable of clearing and safeing the AR15/M16 weapon platform; and that the greatest sin of the educational system is that most graduates can’t correctly identify a phrase as belonging to the Declaration of Independence or the Constitution of the United States, and you have no idea how cross that makes me. 

Leftism annoys me to no end, and causes me to break out in in fits of articulate vituperation. Leftism is a religion I will happily eviscerate on this blog, mainly due to the fact that Leftism has to get way too involved in everyone’s business. Well, that and the fact that the tax rate required for Leftist policies to fail at a slower rate than they should mean that I can’t buy more things that Leftists hate.

Speaking of Leftism, the United Nations gives a me massive case of the hips. I remain firmly of the belief that the US Marine Corps should be employed to heave everything in the UN building onto the deck of a US Navy aircraft carrier, hauled to Port au Prince, Mogadishu, Aden, or any other 3rd world hell-hole, to be heaved off the deck onto the dock by the same US Marines. Turtle Bay should then be leveled and converted to a free trade port. Or a theme park. Or the world’s largest gun store, booze emporium, tobacco shop, and cat house.

If you want to have a United Nations, that’s fine, just have it somewhere else.

I hunt, and I fish. I remain firmly of the belief that our ancestors didn’t fight their way to the top of the Paleolithic ecosystem just to not eat meat. Although if a guest in my home is a vegetarian, I will happily cook them a veggie meal, and I have no beef (pun intended) with vegetarians, or vegans, as long as they leave me alone with my medium-rare sirloin.

Hmm. I think that ought to give folks some idea of what they’re getting in to.

I write. Mostly short stories these days, but there are a couple of books out there; and I publish anthologies of stories from other authors. You should buy them.

If you’re morbidly fascinated by this whole thing, and (God help you) are interested in more — Jim Curtis (OldNFO) and I do a livestream on YubTub twice weekly, usually called “Live From The Blanket Fort”. Tuesday at Noon US Central Time, and Thursdays at 1500 Central Time.

I must warn you: when not on here I swear like a Newhaven fishwife. “Live From The Blanket Fort” is definitely NC-17 rated. We don’t usually have a subject, we just ramble; and the audience is fond of little games like, “We Broke LawDog Again”, “How Many Minutes Until The First Swear Word”, and “There’s The Accent.” 

The audience also gets the giggles from the fact that I fidget when I’m nervous — and doing the livestream makes me very nervous — and winding me up for a rant.

You probably shouldn’t watch it — you’ve been warned.

I’m also a member of the North Texas Troublemakers — a loosely affiliated group of creatives in, and around, the Lone Star State. If you could support some of them by way of buying their stuff, we’d all be grateful.

Y’all be safe,


I'd like y'all to do me a favour.
Well, that's gone rodeo.

33 thoughts on “Time for Le Grand Volant*”

    1. I’m always happy to get news and discussion from Bugscuffle. If the ‘Flouncers’ can’t take the heat they should stay out of the kitchen and STFU.

  1. Well, that sounds fun… kind of like a story of a Sedan De Ville that can fly… but that is for another time

  2. I agree with John, those are Features, not Bugs ; )

    And let’s hope any flounces are at least entertaining; I have a whole crew of folks who are more than willing to show up just to critique them, harshly..

  3. Actually a returning reader, been out of the blogosphere and social media for a few years in a failed attempt to keep my sanity, lol

    Well said, sir, with one caveat I believe you may well agree with:

    “I also believe that Congress has been abdicating too much of their responsibility to the Supreme Court, and likewise should knock it off.”

    I agree wholeheartedly with the above but IMO the congresscritter’s abdication of responsibility to unelected bureaucrats in the three letter swamp agencies is far, far more egregious than their ceding of legislative authority to SCOTUS.

    You can make an argument that a Supreme Court Justice ia clarifying the constitutionality of a law and not creating it from wholecloth (hey guys, stop laughing!) but when the asshats at the ATF/EPA/Etc start ruling shit that was legal yesterday is verboten today because some incompetent government mucketymuck’s secretary called in sick and not getting their daily knob slob made them tetchy pisses me off to no end.

  4. You forgot to mention your most gloriously articulate snark. It’s legend.

  5. Works for me! Been reading your stuff on and off for a long time. Somebody usually links to it. Finally got smart and subscribed to the page.
    As a Prior Marine I wholeheartedly endorse your handling of the UN.

  6. My only complaint is that the underlined words in “and you have no idea how cross that makes me” aren’t a hyperlink to a blog post about how cross you are.

  7. You forgot to mention that you can be a bit of a perfectionist with your own writing. When will The Lawdog Files and The Africa Adventures be in print and not just on Audible again?

  8. Long-time reader here, so no flounces from this direction.

    The ability to accept the complexity of an argument, the need to approach it from multiple directions and to regard our own presuppositions with just a touch of scepticism, is a valuable thing.
    Even when your data set and experiences are not mine, and we come to different conclusions.

  9. Reference DC: I once told the kids that I was convinced that General Washington put DC in a malarial swamp because it would encourage politicians to get their job done so they could get out and go home. And then air conditioning was invented and that went all to hell.

    So, I propose that no politician’s office in DC- including the House and Senate- be allowed a/c. Encourage them to do as little damage as possible and get the hell out.

  10. Well that’s it. Now I gotta write a scene where someone dons a pinafore and bonnet, just for the flounce!

  11. Well, it’s a bit longer than the Surgeon General’s warnings but accurate.

    Ulises from the People’s Republik of Kalipornia.

  12. Came over here from Instapundit.com, I would think most have alignment with you on most topics. The pipeline hydrates make too much sense, why the media hasn’t touched it. I have bookmarked you and will be back.

    Kitsap County is home to PSNS and the Bangor Trident base, across the pond from the People’s Republic of Seattle

  13. I say:

    “Complex questions never have simple answers. Hell, most simple questions don’t have simple answers.”

    But simple minds demand simple answers, and the Left is chock-full of simple minds. They’ve corrupted our schools to keep the sheep simple-minded.
    ‘Progressives’ suppress free speech because they don’t have the means to suppress free thought.


  14. Your house, your rules. I’m just thrilled you’re posting and writing regularly again. I’m one of those people who swung by every week or two for years, hoping for signs of life.

  15. “I believe that Washington DC should be limited to the grounds of the White House, the grounds of the Capitol and the Supreme Court, and the National Mall, along with the actual thoroughway of the streets directly connecting all of the above. All other land in that wretched hive of scum and villainy should be immediately returned to the States who donated the land to begin with.”

    hear, hear.

    **standing ovation**

    Virginia already got their part park, give the rest back to Maryland.

    1. In principle, I agree whole heartedly. But as a sane resident of Montgomery County, I’d really rather leave NW Washington right where it is. In fact, if DC wouldn’t mind annexing Bethesda and Silver Spring?

    2. Maybe turn DC back into a malarial swamp and ban air conditioning? You know, for the environment.

      1. …..and ban heating in Canberra (or de-link the city from the National grid, so that they only get power when the sun is shining and the wind is blowing……)


  16. I’m one of those new readers. My response to your Nordstream post was “Dang, that’s really interesting”. And the implications are also interesting. I concluded that, if you’re right (and, more and more, I’m thinking you are right), that doesn’t mean it’s all Russia’s fault. The determined resistance to the Nord Stream pipelines, with the US leading the charge, meant that the longer the gas didn’t flow, the greater the chance of disaster. Then, Russia failing to keep gas out, or to remove it, probably made disaster inevitable.

    I appreciate you providing an informed evaluation of the situation. I knew about methane clathrates (and what happens when methane clathrates heat up), but had not considered it in pipelines at all.

  17. “And cat house” ….. I was going to toss a quirky little reply … and then my mind asked … If a cat house is a cat house, can “crazy cat lady” have several meanings? … and now I’m contemplating a number of things cat related in every posible context and … Damn it Jim I’m not a Doctor.

  18. Well you’re just a xxxxxx
    Probably xxxx
    I bet you’re xxxxxx

    This is what I usually get for expressing the same opinions, but admittedly in a less articulate manner.

    Love you, Dude. Don’t let the bastards get to you

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