Category Archives: Philosophy

Nuclear Power or Bust

*ring, ring* “Unknown Number”

Oh, what the hell. “Hello?”

“Hello, sir. First, I must tell you that this is not a sales call.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Do you mind answering some questions?”

“Depends. Do you mind hearing the answers?”

“All right, sir. Do you agree that solar power is necessary for green energy independence in Texas? Yes, or no response, please.”

“No. Solar is stupid. If you want green energy, start pushing for more nuke reactors.”

“Yes, sir. How liable are you to install solar panels on your residence?”

“I’m not. Solar is stupid. Nuclear power or bust.”

“Yes, sir. If I were to tell you that there are government programs that will off-set the cost of solar panel installation, would that change your mind?”

“Buddy, I realize that you’re working from a script, but if you don’t engage your brain, folks are going to think that you’re retarded.”

“…”

“…”

“I haven’t had my coffee yet.”

“I can tell. Any other questions that I can answer by telling you that solar is stupid?”

“No, sir. You have a good day.”

“You, too. Go get some coffee.”fox having his coffee while contemplating a nuclear power plant with approval

The Tao of Lawdog #765

Dear Manbun Neckbeard,

Normally I don’t offer advice to those who are neither kith nor kin, but in this case I should like to offer some words of wisdom from one who has been around this little green dirtball a few more decades than you:
The Law of Physics is not like other Laws — such as the Law of Traffic or the Law of Pedestrians — it is pitiless, merciless, does not brook stupidity, and usually extracts a stiffer penalty than a mere fine or jail time.

With this in mind, in the future, consider taking your pretentious, hipster douche-baggery down to the crosswalk before crossing the bloody frontage road — especially at zero-bloody-dark thirty and you in (no doubt hand-dyed, Free Trade) black cotton everything.

Now, do not mistake me: I don’t particularly give a warm bucket of rat expectorant if a Ford F250 — like the one that just had to swerve out of your way — punts you thirty feet down the road, but I don’t want to spend my next few trips down this road driving through the miasmatic cloud of halitosis and patchouli that would probably linger after having been knocked from your pores by the impact.

Much like the olfactory reminder of the demise of a skunk, only with fewer skid marks evident, come to think.

So. Move your non-GMO arse, you jackass.

Nothing but love,

LawDog